"Are you tired? Have you eaten? Your eyes are so red, go and have a rest." Mom asked, not mentioning his father's death. Her voice was trembling slightly, trying to show strength in front of her son.

"No, I'm not tired, and I don't want to eat. Mom, my dad, he... how did he... die?" Now what Zhang Jun wants to know the most is this question.

The mother hesitated for a moment and preached to her son: "He drove to Baiyun Mountain with a few friends to sketch, but she met an overloaded bus on the winding mountain road. In order to avoid them, she accidentally flipped..." She could not continue, because every time she said it meant that she would remind her of the details she didn't want to recall again.

There is no need to continue, Zhang Jun already understood roughly. As my uncle said, it is a car accident that happens all over the world every day. People in this world die in car accidents every day, but why is it him? Could it be my father?

Zhang Jun tightened the strap of his backpack with both hands.

The bedroom is not as noisy as the living room outside. There are only three of them, so it is very quiet when they close the door. The three of them no longer talked, and it was not until someone pushed the door in to break the embarrassing silence.

Sophie stood at the door and looked at Zhang Jun, who also looked at her. The two looked at each other for only two seconds. Sophie closed the door with her backhand, then lowered her head and placed the water bottle on the table.

"The boiling water is ready, mom." Sophie said softly.

The aunt nodded: "You go and rest for a while, you will be even more tired at night."

Sophie glanced at Zhang Jun again, then nodded and turned away. Zhang Jun noticed that Sophie's eyes were like him - full of blood.

After Sophie left, my aunt said to Zhang Jun: "You go and have a good sleep, and you have to keep a vigil at night."

After arriving at home, Zhang Jun was relieved when he saw his mother and Sophie. At this time, he was reminded by his aunt and really felt sleepy. He had not had a good rest for two days and was indeed going to bed now. He stood up and said, "Mom, I'm going to sleep. You should rest too, be careful, don't be too...sad." He said with his lip.

Mom nodded and said nothing.

"Then I'll go, my aunt will ask you to take care of my mother."

"Okay, it's okay, go." Aunt waved her hand.

Zhang Jun picked up his bag and walked out. From the quiet bedroom to the noisy living room, Sophie's father was busy greeting guests who came to pay his respects, but he didn't see him. Looking at the people coming in and out, Zhang Jun felt dizzy and panic on his chest, which made him want to vomit.

Without even calling him a greeting, he knocked open the door of his bedroom, locked it, and then fell on the bed.

Smelling the familiar smell on the bed and listening to the vague comments from the living room, Zhang Jun closed his eyes, but he still didn't cry.

※※※

This time, he slept until the evening and got up and washed up. The two families and uncle who came to pay their respects to his hometown to pay their respects and help. They sat down and had a simple meal. The uncle was a chef and his skills were very good. Zhang Jun’s favorite thing was to go back to his hometown to eat the dishes he cooked during the Chinese New Year. However, the chef was not in the mood to cook this meal, and the diners were not in the mood to taste it. After the meal, the adults comforted their mother upstairs and discussed what to do with Zhang Jun’s father’s funeral. Sophie helped take care of other guests, boiled water, and cooked tea to serve food. Zhang Jun came to the mourning hall in the yard to keep a watch.

There are two more light bulbs in the mourning hall at night than during the day, one inside and one outside. The orange and yellow light penetrates the darkness and makes the surrounding five meters bright. In this light, four tables of mahjong have been set up. Most of the railway workers who moved to Sichuan to build Luoyang, so they like to play mahjong and cannot stop them from gathering together to build the Great Wall at any time. Neighbors nearby are "fighting at night" and making the mahjong and "cry".

Zhang Jun walked straight into the mourning hall, then put down the curtain and sat in front of his father's portrait. It was dark during the day, and now he discovered that there was a seriously damaged Nikon camera next to him.

This should be the camera on my father at that time...

Sitting alone next to a corpse, Zhang Jun was not afraid at all because it was his father. Zhang Jun had heard many ghost stories and watched many horror movies, such as zombie deception and soul-recovering night. He was so scared at that time. Now he just because the person lying on the side covered in mourning clothes was his father, and his closest father was his closest father, so he felt very safe and at ease.

The curtain was lifted and Sophie came in.

"I knew you were here." Sophie tried to comfort Zhang Jun with a smile, but she tried it a few times but couldn't laugh. But Zhang Jun smiled slightly: "Why are you coming down?"

"Take two bottles of water down, afraid they don't have any water to drink." Sophie pointed behind her, and another sound of mahjong came from behind. I don't know who fought another game.

Then there was a silence in the room.

Sophie felt embarrassed, so she found an excuse to leave: "I...I'll go up and boil water."

As soon as she turned around, Zhang Jun pulled her away: "Can you accompany me out for a walk?"

※※※

"Sophie, I'm very strange. I'm still very calm. It's not as sad as they thought... But my father died, but I haven't even cried once. Do you think I'm too cold-blooded?" Zhang Jun sat on the edge of the flower bed on the side of the road, watching the traffic and people coming and going, and people were constantly crossing through the place where there was no zebra crossing.

"It's not like this, Zhang Jun." Sophie tried to comfort Zhang Jun. "Actually, I know you must..."

"When I heard my mother say it, I thought it was a joke. You know my dad is just a joke." Zhang Jun ignored Sophie. He said to himself alone. "My mom has been busy with business outside since he was a child. My father and I were even better than my mom and I. He took me everywhere to play and took photos to record my growth experience. It was also what he taught me when I started playing football... Many times, we are not like father and son, but more like friends."

Zhang Jun has not yet remembered what day his father’s birthday was, nor did he know which brand of cigarette he likes to smoke. He thought he had the best relationship with his father, so he would not forget many things. But now it seems that he has almost nothing to remember. When he played football, there were many photos taken by his father for him, but the photos of the two were pitifully few.

My uncle said that my father took so many photos, but not many of them were taken for him. Zhang Jun thought about it, and he rarely asked his father to take the camera and press the shutter to take a photo.

When he was in school, he only had friendship and love in his mind. Family affection made him third. He was always proud of having a group of good friends and was lucky to have a girlfriend like Sophie. Later, when he worked and played professional football, he became a star. He was outside for eleven months all year round. He finally came back and was busy with various commercial contracts, social activities, national teams and national Olympic team training centers. He was probably only more than a month after more than three years.

Mom hopes that he will stay at home for a few more days, and his father will say that it is his son's job, and he should. He also thinks that his father makes sense, and his mother is too verbose. Yes, shooting advertisements is work, attending various press conferences is work, participating in team training is work, and being a caring ambassador is also work. He is busy, and he has no time to accompany his parents, accompanying them to watch TV, take a walk, and accompanying them to the park to take photos. He is now a public figure, and he gives all his time to the public to satisfy the public's desire to snoop, so this satisfaction makes him sacrifice his family. Sometimes he feels that this doesn't seem good, but most of the time he is complacent about this kind of scenery, so he will deliberately show this kind of busyness in front of his family.

Anyway, he is still long. He is only twenty-four years old now. When he retires, he will spend time with his parents and Sophie. At that time, there are still two-thirds of his life left, which is enough for him to enjoy.

But what about now? Only a quarter of his life has passed, he has lost an important relative forever, and he dare not imagine how things will change in the future.

He was very lazy and would always push back what he could do today to tomorrow, tomorrow, and another tomorrow. He called it: plan. But when that tomorrow, tomorrow, and another tomorrow came, he was a little scared to find that this was different from what he planned.

Whether it is watching TV, movies, books, or listening to others, he knows: cherish everything in front of him. He knows and understands the meaning of this sentence, but he has never put it into practice. Then now he has lost it, and only then does it realize that the old saying "What is lost is the most precious" is definitely not empty talk.

When he calls home, he can do whatever he wants. When he gets home, he always looks forward to finding those friends. He knows that family affection is very, very important, but he is unwilling to cherish it. Even if he looks cherished, he is very stingy. Is it because family affection is too familiar to each of them? He is so familiar that he no longer knows how to cherish it.

Why do people always repeat other people’s mistakes?

Dad is gone, and now mom and Sophie are the most precious people in his life, and he doesn't want to make the same mistake again.

Looking at Sophie on the side, it was obviously much more painful than when I saw her last time, and it was all the time. She worked a lot for his father's affairs. It was a lifetime of blessing to have such a girl by her side. I remembered that when she was in high school, Yang Pan's grandmother passed away. He was in a bad mood all day long. Sophie was silently with him, saying nothing, but he was moved when he turned his head - there was such a person, whether you are proud or lost, whether you are happy or painful, they are all by your side - at that time he had the urge to hug Sophie, but at that time they were still young and were afraid that others would gossip, so his hand stretched out just to help her clean her collar. Today is different, and he wants to hold this happiness in his arms now.

"Sophie, can you please let me hug me?" Zhang Jun said in a hoarse voice.

Sophie snuggled over obediently, Zhang Jun opened his arms and hugged her tightly in his arms, feeling Sophie's body temperature, heartbeat, and breathing.

"When will you come to Italy, Sophie?"

"I... don't know, I'm still internship."

"I think of you every day in Italy. You are too far away from me. I'm worried about losing you..." Zhang Jun whispered Sophie's hair with his face.

"Zhang Jun, I love you."

"I know, I know... I used to be told to cherish the people around me, but I didn't take it seriously. Now I can't even regret it. So I..." Zhang Jun murmured with his mouth against Sophie's ear.

"Don't worry about me, I will take care of myself. I work very hard at the newspaper, just hope to go to Italy as soon as possible and be with you. I also miss you every day. But we all have our own careers, aren't we?" Sophie held Zhang Jun's hand holding her waist. She didn't need to say anything more, this action said everything.

Zhang Jun knew in his heart that a week would pass soon, and it would be next spring when he left and came back. He just wanted to hold Sophie in his arms and resist the cold nights in the north.

Sophie felt Zhang Jun's hands tightening around her again.

※※※

After staying for a whole night, Zhang Jun was eager to face the members of the condolence team from all fronts, including municipal government leaders, customers on commercial contracts, relatives and friends, their own teachers and their own coaches. They came one by one, some were very sad, and some were just pretending to be very sad. Zhang Jun saw it all, and was surprised that he could calmly analyze the purpose of their trip. Some were to show their sympathy in front of the media, some were to win over their feelings and make it more effective for the future contract implementation, and some were to just get close to each other and find good feelings.

The most common thing for everyone to say to him is that, but the expression on his face is not enough to match the artistic conception of this. There is no obvious sadness on his face, and it can even be said to be a little expressionless. Zhang Jun was a little panicked. He didn't know why this happened. He couldn't control his facial expressions as freely as those people, let it cry and make it smile, and it will definitely not be vague when it should cry.

He can't do it, so is he really not sad enough in his heart? His father died, but he couldn't cry. Why? Even if he didn't cry secretly, he didn't have time to think about whether he was cold-blooded.

Until that day, his father was carried onto the hearse and he sat aside with his portrait in his hand. When his father was still by his side, even if it was just a cold body, he felt that it was his father and had never left him. But now his father was about to be pushed into the incinerator in the crematorium, and then he came out and there was only a box of ashes left.

When Zhang Jun thought of this, for some reason, his nose suddenly became sore.

Mom sat opposite her, looking at her husband lying quietly, without crying, but muttering: "Weiguo, you are leaving, we will give you your last journey. You are here to bless your son with peace and health..."

Listening to his mother's soft nagging as if she was talking to herself, Zhang Jun's nose became sore again. When he blinked his eyes, his eyes were already blurred when he opened his eyelids.

Zhang Jun blinked hard, not wanting to cry. But after he blinked a few times, two lines of tears flowed down in a bad mood.

Finally he cried, and he thought he really wouldn't cry.

In the past, my father often carried a big bag and said he was going to go far, but he would say when he would go home. But this time, he would never come back as soon as he left.

Dad, are you leaving now? Are you not coming back? Are you willing to let it go? Sophie still wants to learn cooking from you, and didn’t you say you wanted to sell it with my signature? But I haven’t had time to sign for you yet...Who should I joke with in the future? Dad...

Tears fell down like broken string beads, wetting the floor under your feet.

※※※

When the crematorium workers handed the wooden urn to Zhang Jun's hand, his hands were shaking. In order to prevent the urn from falling, he had to hold the box in his arms.

The man who entered was still a 1.8-meter tall man. Why did he turn into dust when he came out and was put in a box like a small drawer?

Zhang Jun looked at this dark box and could not connect it with his usual smiling father.

Another family next to them were wearing mourning clothes, squeezing to the window, waiting to receive one of their relatives. Zhang Jun wiped his eyes and vaguely saw his expression on their faces, just like looking in a mirror.

Why are there many kinds of happiness in this world, but sadness is the same?

※※※

My father's ashes were not placed in the local Mangshan Cemetery in Luoyang. Although there is a saying like "born in Suzhou and Hangzhou and buried in Beim", my mother insisted on taking my father back to her hometown in Sichuan, saying that it was falling leaves returning to her roots.

Since Zhang Jun considered it with Sophie that day, he wanted to take his mother to Milan to live there for a while and relax. The business in the store can be handed over to someone else to temporarily manage it. He used to owe too much to his parents, but now he wants to compensate.

But her mother refused this suggestion. She wanted to go back to her hometown in Sichuan to live for a while and take her father's ashes back. In addition, Sophie was going back to Chengdu to work, and she happened to go with her uncle and the others.

Zhang Jun couldn't persuade him, so he had to agree. But he said that he would definitely take his mother to Italy in the future.

The one-week holiday ended soon, and Zhang Jun had to go back to Milan. His mother, accompanied by his uncle and Sophie, returned to her hometown in Sichuan. The home in Luoyang, which had been noisy for a week, was immediately gone, and the yard was restored to its former peace. The mourning hall, wreath, and elegiac couplets disappeared overnight. Only the obituary on the wall that was blown down by the fierce north wind of Luoyang still told people passing by how lively this place was once.

※※※

Unlike when the reporters were chasing and intercepting him when they came, Zhang Jun stood in the airport waiting hall with a little tired expression on his face, but his heart was a little relaxed - he finally didn't have to face those annoying reporters.

Passing by the newsstand, he bought a newspaper and planned to spend time on the plane.

But he opened the sports version and saw himself pushing the reporter's photo. The title next to the photo was eye-catching and scary:
Chapter completed!