Singing in the hot youth - Comment on "Do you care about playing football" by Jiu Gelong (reprinted)

Singing in the hot youth—

Comment on "Do you care about playing football"

When magic and the theme of conquering the mainland became the mainstream of several major websites, a work was not hyped, war, magic, YY, or sensational beauty, and quietly won the love of many readers. "Do you care about playing football?" Lin Haitingtao used a pure modern teenage work to easily defeat many fantasy novels. If you carefully savor the published parts, you will find that the author is superior to many parts.

The author is very familiar with football and his student days. The so-called "academic school" is a major genre in fantasy novels, because many authors themselves are students, and for them, they are very skilled in writing school life. However, they seem to be more dissatisfied with their campus life. Needless to say, the teacher and the principal are hostile, and even female classmates seem to have to find a balance in the article. Such novels, even if they are put on a fantasy coat, make people feel no realism. "Do you care about playing football?" are different. He writes about the school around him. The protagonist also has to be anxious in front of the exam, and even study.

When choosing between his own hobbies (football), the author did not design some schools that could go to without taking exams because he wrote football novels. The protagonist lives in a normal society like us. The common contradictions in life are enough to arouse the resonance of readers. As for football, the author shows considerable familiarity with the players and the game itself. So far, all the technical characteristics, personality, team style and even game scenes of all the players who played have not been repeated. Even if there are enough information about players and team matches in the world for the author to learn from, it is a difficult science to master when to use what information.

From this perspective, authors with relatively low age and relatively shallow experience should write about things around them, and at least express their familiar feelings. In addition to some "geniuses", college and even high school students want to describe something deep in human nature and want to dig into the theme very deeply, but in the end they can only express inappropriately. Because if the author himself does not have a good understanding of the ideas to be expressed, it would be too forced to let readers accept it.

Language, the language level of "Do you care about playing football" is much higher than the average level of the Internet. Most of its language is simple and accurate, without too much gorgeous rhetoric, with capable narratives, and without delay in dialogue. Except for the parts related to the main plot, the explanation of other plots is overwritten, which not only gives the article a sense of rhythm of detailed writing, but also does not allow extra branches to affect the development of the main plot and the expression of the main ideas.

It is easy to say that emotions are contained in plainness. In fact, more authors like to use unrestrained language to let the characters vent their feelings, hoping to use this to drive readers to feel the feelings they want to express. And "Do you care about playing football" is not revealed:

"I'm very excited!" Sophie said happily, "I couldn't sleep last night. As soon as I closed my eyes, I would think of that game. I heard the noise of the court. I remember all the way you were on the court. Once I closed my eyes, it kept playing like a video. The first time I felt like this, it was so great!"

The four of them looked at Sophie's excited face and stopped talking. Maybe they had felt this feeling many times, but they were silent when they saw Sophie's excited expression. Some of them had long been numb or forgotten about the passion that football brought to them. Today Sophie reminded them of this feeling again.

I think that at this time the author can use hundreds of words to make the characters recall the days when they were moved by football, but he did not destroy the atmosphere of the entire article. Despite this, as an amateur player who has been running on the football field for more than 10 years, I was still suddenly in silence with the characters. I think that if the author really wrote hundreds of words of lyricism, I might lose a lot of thought because he said everything I thought, and the article would lose the meaning of people reading it again.

In terms of the rhythm of the article, some of the authors write about one minute by one, and even write a few chapters in one game, while some of the games only have a cutscene paragraph:

A week later, the University of Science and Technology Affiliated High School easily defeated Dongfang Middle School in the semi-finals, and Li Yongle scored another goal, a penalty kick. He has now become the darling of the media and fans. Another week later, the University of Science and Technology Affiliated High School defeated their old rival Dingding Middle School in the final and entered the national competition for the 14th consecutive time. It once again became the focus of Luoyang media reports. Li Yongle shot five times in that final, but never shot the rebound goal against Dawn that day.

What we need to note is that this passage is quoted from Chapter 27 of the book. This chapter describes the protagonist's performance after losing. The whole chapter is extremely delicate. The abbreviation of this last paragraph makes the rhythm of the article change beautifully. At the same time, this description of Li Yongle also promotes the development of the plot, making the whole chapter more complete.

Funny is a style that many online articles like to adopt. After all, this is in line with the purpose of readers looking for relaxation when reading articles on the Internet. However, since high-level funnyness is difficult to achieve, it mostly belongs to the category of spoofs. There is a suspicion that two people who say crosstalk are cursing each other in exchange for some pitiful laughter. "Do you care about playing football?" is not the case. Many of the funny plots in the article are clips of life. In fact, when you think about it carefully, when you gather with classmates and friends, you often say funny words to each other, but you cannot integrate them in writing. At this time, the author is often bound by writing and forgets that life is the iron law that the work is the source. Let's look at the following paragraph:

"Don't argue with you two." Sophie smiled, "Ren Yudi said he invited us to have tea!"

"Really?" The two of them turned their eyes to Sophie.

"He said it with his own words, I listened with my ears. It would never be wrong!" Sophie said with a smile.

"That's great! Ren Yudi is so generous!" The two of them went up to hug Ren Yudi, extremely close.

Only when Ren Yu looked at Sophie's beautiful smile deeply realized what the "most poisonous woman's heart" is.

An Ke, who had been hiding beside him, also stood up: "Ah! What a coincidence! What? Ren Yudi wants to invite tea? That's great! He's a young man, so rich! Let's go, I know where the tea is the best!"

Ren Yudi glared at An Ke fiercely. But he was pushed by everyone to a nearby teahouse with a luxuriously decorated and large storefront. This time he really was a sheep entering the wolf pack.

I believe that when you see such a plot, everyone will smile at the same time. It is not only because of how humorous the plot is, but more importantly, similar plots. The scene of "pitting" a classmate around you treating guests will have some experiences when you are a student, writing little by little in your life into the article, allowing readers to find their own shadows in the article, and the readers' recognition of the work is unconsciously established.

For example:

"Ah! Ah! If we win this game, we will encounter the Affiliated High School of the University of Science and Technology. How bad is it! "

Ren Yu shouted.

"Then let's just lose in this game." Zhang Jun said.

"You dare!" Sophie stared at Zhang Jun.

"Don't look at me with this kind of look, I'm just a joke!"

"Hey! Hey! This is practice, don't be so desperate, right?" An Ke said to Yang Pan in a terrified state. When he thought of Yang Pan's goal in the last game, he was a little scared. He guessed that the goalkeeper could no longer guard the goal. As soon as he saw someone swing his legs and shoot, he would be frightened all over.

"I will develop a sense of hatred for the goalkeeper from now on!"

"It's the opponent's goal and goalkeeper, right?"

"No! Everything!"

An Ke swallowed. He saw murderous aura in Yang Pan's eyes, which was definitely not a joke. He prayed in his heart for the goalkeeper of the Affiliated High School of Science and Technology.

This kind of joke or joke that is not a joke is entirely a language in life. Compared with the funnyness produced, you can tell at a glance that your level is higher than that.

Before Chapter 10, the author's language was not very fluent and a little awkward. After Chapter 10, the author almost made no mistakes and maintained a peaceful narrative method. Although he was talking about one of the most tense movements, he could still maintain his own mentality, and the fierce conflicts expressed in plain language were even more unforgettable. The author's progress in the article shows his learning ability and plasticity, which makes this article more worth looking forward to.

In "Do you care about playing football?", it is not only described that one or two protagonists, Zhang Jun and Yang Pan, although they have spent a lot of space, but the supporting characters, such as Li Yongle, who takes chasing Zhang Jun as a new goal in life, thus getting rid of the bad life of a young man; Liu Qi, who is disabled but enthusiastically supports the team and shouts for the team to the last minute; Tu Yong and others, who are cruel and ruthless, give up hurting Zhang Jun at the last moment, are also very well portrayed. Even the "ant" who has only appeared a few times, leave a deep impression on people. It is not just one or two people, but the group of characters in the entire article can be successfully shaped. This is not only in the writing of online articles, but also in traditional novels, but in very rare cases.

一. The characters in the author's works have their own personalities, and he does not make them stereotyped. For example, "Ant" Mani, on the one hand, he is very hateful. In addition to his arrogant personality, but because of his unscrupulous character, it can be said that his behavior has tarnished football and is a shame for football. But on the other hand, when he strives for victory in the next half of his life on the football field, we can feel his fanaticism about football. When we hear his ending, even if we cannot sympathize with him and understand him, at least we will not continue to hate him. Such a complex character is just a supporting role described by the author on the side, and the author's ability to describe the characters can be seen.

In the description of the characters, Zhang Jun, the key protagonist of "Do you care about playing football?", caused controversy, so that the author specifically defended him in the attached note after the article:

As a protagonist, Zhang Jun feels too cowardly and not outstanding, so I want me to explain it. So I thought that Zhang Jun is actually not without personality, but not outstanding personality, and is a bit mediocre. The extreme emphasis on friendship he showed in the pioneering competition has also attracted many people's disgust. To be honest, when I wrote these two chapters, I didn't expect such a strong reaction. Haha, they are all too cowardly and unreal. In fact, I think Zhang Jun's personality determines his emphasis on emotions, which is of course a bit exaggerated. But art comes from life and is higher than life, haha! Exaggeration can amplify his contradictory mood.

The protagonist is imperfect, as can be seen from the book reviews of many book friends, and is not very popular. Some people think he has no personality, some people think he has no outstanding role in Yang Pan or others, and some people think he is too cowardly. Everyone is saying it is very good. But why can't you regard this book as Zhang Jun's growth from another perspective? Haha! Zhang Jun's personality and goals will gradually emerge during these days.

From the explanation, we can see that the author is quite calm about his work. He knows what he wants to write, knows what his character is, and knows the future context of his character. In fact, it is easy to create a "high, large, and complete" character, let alone those who are very good-looking and beautiful women. In comparison, he has a weak side like Zhang Jun, and even shakes his beloved game for his feelings. The characters who often "wave their tails and beg for mercy" on girls on the court are more difficult to describe in place, but are closer to life. Only when readers feel and feel disgusted with him will they become interested in his growth, and when he overcomes his shortcomings in character and emotions, they will be more likable. Could it be that, "lazy,

I like to make a joke, and I look a little stupid. Is it really unpleasant? Harry Potter doesn't seem to be a very strong person either. In comparison, although Yang Pan had fierce emotional conflicts when his grandmother passed away, his personality was not significant and complex enough, although he was an indispensable figure on the field, he was far less prominent than Zhang Jun in the article. I even kept wondering why the author used him as the second-generation captain. Because a captain could play the role of the on-field organization and the psychological team, he had almost never seen him have the corresponding abilities in the article. If the author thinks that Yang Pan is indeed competent, I can only say that he did not fully express Yang Pan's ability and personality.

As mentioned earlier, the author's continuous progress in writing the article is not only reflected in language, but also in writing skills. Until Chapter 26 "Ten Minutes", the author's language and writing skills reached its peak, and even reached a height that other writers are difficult to catch up with.

This chapter describes the first match between Shuguang Middle School and the Affiliated High School of University of Science and Technology. There are still 10 minutes left in the game. When the protagonist's team is behind 1:2, the author deviates from the plain development style of the plot, divides the entire chapter into several sections. The end of each section is written on the time from the end of the game, and describes all the situations of contacting the ball on the field in each period of time. The plot is compact and the rhythm is tense, making people almost breathless. In such a tense rhythm, the author still has the energy to let Shuguang's goalkeeper An Ke and main player Ren Yudi recall the past life clips. These clips are not randomly placed. They not only make footnotes on the formation of the character, but also add a fierce atmosphere to the ongoing game, and sublimate the entire chapter's article in emotion and theme.

Even though most of the cheerleaders were silent, Liu Qi still waved the flag and shouted: "Come on! Dawn! Dawn! Come on!" It seemed that she wanted to compete with the cheerleaders of the University of Science and Technology Affiliated High School with more than 100 people.

Including secondary characters like Liu Qi, more than 10 characters appeared in turn, and with the detailed description of An Ke and Ren Yu, the 10-minute game was not an exaggeration to describe it as a thrilling match. After reading it, it seemed that it had been an hour. In fact, this chapter was only more than 3,600 words, and the author's accumulated and improved level was finally bursting out, and this chapter reached its climax together with the plot of the article.

Chapter 27 "Lost... The Competition" is also a very successful chapter, and even the author's updates so far have never surpassed these two chapters, whether in the plot or writing skills. The author has obviously seen a large number of cartoons and has successfully integrated cartoons, movies and TV skills into literary creation. In Chapter 27, he first wrote about the performance of several players losing after the game, and then the dreams and psychological descriptions of Zhang Jun, Sophie, Yang Pan, Ren Yudi and An Ke that night. When this faint sadness accumulates to the extreme, the author suddenly added this sentence:

For them, the season of the year is over.

But for some others, these three years of seasons have ended...

So, the readers' hearts were coliced ​​with them.

These passages can be naturally associated with cartoon pictures, either dreaming or watching stars on the balcony at night. Each person has only one page, and different movements on several pictures express the same mood. When time turns to daylight and all the team members gather together, the time to say goodbye is up, and the first-year high school team members should leave. Articles with outstanding visual effects are easier to be recognized, and from a commercial perspective, it is easier to adapt into cartoons. Many authors also know this, but few people can use these techniques as skillfully as the author Lin Haitingtao, and integrate them skillfully with traditional literary skills, each gains strengths, and finally get a successful work.

In terms of the use of skills, the author's method of switching cameras is also reflected in another aspect:

He had just used his skills to shake Zhang Yang down, and Li Yongle had already appeared beside him. He accelerated to shake Li Yongle away, but Zhang Yang rushed up again. "Chain defense!" he exclaimed in his heart.

"Chain defense?" Sophie looked at Zhang Jun.

"Chain defense is an early Italian defensive mode. When the opponent attacks, two defenders defend at a level. When the first defender is passed, the second defender will make up, the second is passed, and the first defender will block the front again. The opponent's offensive players are almost facing endless defense. But then again, there are several forwards who can dribble the ball far under this kind of defense, and they are usually cut off in the third round."

It is a common technique used in cartoons to mention a noun from the previous picture and then switch to another person to explain it. This is a common technique in cartoons, but it is relatively difficult to master in novels. I remember that Gu Long likes to make similar comments about children in distant places when they are duels, but Lin Haitingtao is obviously more handy, which should be attributed to the popularity of movies and TV and the influence of cartoons over the years.

Of course, too much is too little. Sometimes the author is too obviously influenced by cartoons, which makes the article have some imitations that are too heavy or unnecessary plots. For example:

"Is the other party's No. 5 really that powerful? Even Ren Yudi, who has the best skills, can't do anything about it." Sophie frowned and said.

"Sophie, have you heard of the word "no rhythm"?" Liang Ke said.

※※※

"No rhythm?" Xiao Zhang looked at Chen Huafeng in confusion, not understanding what this had to do with the question he just asked.

"Yes. Everyone is familiar with the word rhythm. The most common place may be music. But rhythm does not exist only in music. Everything has its own frequency and rhythm. It's just that some are obvious and some are weak.

Everyone walks with their own rhythm. Many people can tell whether they are familiar with someone by just the walking posture. This is the role of rhythm. The same is true for football players. For example, when I can't see the appearance and numbers of the players on the field, why should I know if the ball is Beckham or Giggs?

I don't know what the author's origin is. I personally have seen similar concepts in the cartoon "Gun God". If the author is the same, in the end, reduce the concepts or ideas directly drawn from other cartoons, or make it more intact. In addition to some clear spoof articles, if too much other people's things are mixed in the article, it will greatly reduce the level of the article, especially this kind of imitation is not essential for the plot.

"Li Ni! You exchange with XX and go to the Red Team." Liang Ke's instructions surprised everyone.

This question is also very interesting. I don’t know why the author didn’t write out XX’s name directly. In fact, he has basically given a good name to every member of the Shuguang Middle School team. Some people may say that such a small problem is nothing, but as an excellent article, such mistakes should not occur, even if they are small mistakes.

In short, the article "Do you care about playing football?" has many things worth learning. When choosing materials, you choose the things you are most familiar with to write to avoid the flaws that make the insider jokes, and it is easy to write professionally and well-informed. In terms of language, the concise language saves energy and gives people a feeling of anti-simplicity. In terms of writing skills, you can combine various art forms such as cartoons, movies, and TV, which adds a lot of vitality to plain language, making the author easier to express his feelings and promote the development of the plot. At the same time, readers who grew up under the same cultural influence are more likely to accept and like it.

Perhaps the article "Do you care about me playing football" is not a top-notch article, and its author is not the author with the best writing style. However, through this article, he fully demonstrated his level, emotions, and ideas, and found the best fit, making "Do you care about me playing football" very popular without YY elements, not the mainstream of fantasy, and without a lot of beauties. This is what authors should think about the most.

03-8-14

18:17:21

postscript:

Starting from 2 noon, I almost finished this comment in one breath. When I was really finished, I almost had the urge to cry. It was not because of how good this article was, nor because of how touching Lin Hai's novel was, but because this was the first article I wrote in more than two months as an article.

I have already known that I have a low period in writing. After all, I am not a professional writer and my brain is very stupid. However, in my more than 10 years of writing life, especially after I regard writing as my main source of life and pursuit of life, this state is rare. In the past, I usually use writing to vent when I feel bad. However, now when I am so bored that I almost fainted because I can't write articles, I suddenly feel like I'm abandoned.

This feeling is not something that outsiders can tell you, and I am afraid that few people believe it if they say it.

I smiled bitterly. In the past month, in order to avoid my friends' debt collection, I have been invisible when I go to QQ and rarely speak in the group. I have owed an editor's manuscript for nearly a month. She trusts me very much, and it is difficult for me to explain and pay off this kind of disappointment.

If you can't write the article I want to write, this kind of pain may be difficult for others to understand.

Anyway, this comment that had been conceived for three months was finally finished before the results of the competition between Shuguang Middle School and University of Science and Technology Affiliated High School came out. I think my condition will probably recover to a certain extent. Several articles from two months or even earlier should be able to be written.

I started to want to write a comment on this novel because Lin Haitingtao touched many things in my heart, not only football, but also everyone’s understanding of football and life. Although he is much younger than me, his experience in life may be even greater, but many of his cognitions are the same.

Football is the only thing I can do when I come into contact with it and even my current state is restored. I think it is related to the Volkswagen Software Reading and Editor friendly match I went to Beijing on August 9, although we lost.

Zhang Jun handed Su Fei a bowl, and Sophie took the water and handed it back to him. This was what he suddenly felt: such a familiar scene! Oh, I remembered it! On weekends, my mother was busy in the kitchen, so my father helped her, and was sent to her, and she was still happy - Dad was not "wife's strict control". Looking at the happy smiling faces of the two, Sophie started to make a fuss, and then she was kicked out of the kitchen by her father using the excuse of "making trouble".

This passage is surprisingly similar to a plot in one of my prose. An author who regards this kind of life as happiness, an article that regards this kind of life as happiness, and football, is enough to inspire my creative inspiration and impulse.

Inspiration and impulse have always been the source of my creation.

Thank you Lin Haitingtao, thank you for comforting and encouraging me to accompany me when I was in a slump, and thank you for your friends.

Really, I finally came back to life.

03-8-14

18:31:56
Chapter completed!