Luo Zhe was stunned on the chair, not knowing where to put his hands, hugged the back of his head, staring at the oil painting, the boatman on the Volga River.

He found that he had misunderstood.

The previous understanding of the self came from Freud's understanding of the self, the self, and the superego.

The id is a big pot of boiling instincts and desires, requiring the driving force of satisfying all instincts in front of you, acting only according to the principle of happiness, eagerly seeking vents, and blindly pursuing satisfaction. Hunger, sex, and everything in the id will always be unconscious.

The ego, between the id and the superego, represents reason and wit. It acts according to the principle of reality, supervises the movements of the id, gives appropriate satisfaction, and also observes the superego, making it unable to cross the line, leading to personality collapse and madness.

The superego is a conscience, social norm, or self-ideal, and a senior leader of personality. It acts in accordance with the principle of the best or the most evil, guides the self and limits the self.

It cannot be said that these are wrong, on the contrary, they are extremely correct, but this does not represent the complete self, nor does it represent its own essence. It is just the trajectory of the chain, driving its own core.

And the real self...

It is not an independent element, not in the material world, nor in the consciousness world, but a drawing that is continuously spliced ​​by the theme of the story. This metaphor is not vivid, but is just generally similar, but is actually some kind of indescribable object.

It is not even life or consciousness, but a unit of higher dimension abstraction.

This is the essence of oneself and the whole picture of oneself.

The ultimate...

self.

"So, at this moment, I cannot represent me, but an excerpt from a novel and a few frames cut out from a certain movie to form a separate note for a certain song. Now... the most stable me in the story, the most calm me in the movie, and the most ordinary me in the song, should I make a decision for me who is at the forefront of the chain?"

Luo Zhe learned that it would be enough to leave that kind of thing to him, but if you think about it carefully, the most cutting-edge self in the chain is not himself. He exists in him, and he also exists in himself.

"Yes, you are infected with blood plague in the future, and I can't answer what this is, because even you know very little about it in the future. It is said that this is the blood of God, spreading in the interweaving place of human causal destiny. It can bring transcendent power to people, bring spiritual vision, and witness the ultimate of the universe. However, ordinary people cannot bear the 'truth', and will tear apart human consciousness and collapse into a monster with images."

"In the future, you use calming drugs or sedatives to block the vision, but this will not last long. The most critical issue at the moment is that there are mysterious organizations hunting people infected with blood plague. In the future, you are almost dead. You have to choose to make him unconsciously crazy and may be killed by the hunter. Or you choose to accept blood, so that he can witness the 'truth', and be able to control himself after being transformed into a monster, which can improve his survival rate to a certain extent, but the price is... In the process of contacting the 'truth', you may lose yourself and fall into madness."

"Don't you think so?"

"When exploring the truth, it will fade yourself, and turn into other characters you don't know in the long run. Perhaps somewhere still has its true colors, but in fact it has become an irrelevant monster in terms of motivation. This is not just for you at the forefront of the chain, because of God's blood, it may collapse the entire chain, destroy the "image", tear the "essence", and smash the "soul."

"No one can escape, this barren paradox."

Qiao Ya explained the specific interests to Luo Zhe, and the next thing we need to see is how he does it.

Luo Zhe hesitated. He was not afraid of death. It was okay but unnecessary, but the loss of self... became a mental illness? Madman?

This is exactly what Qiao Ya wants to see. If Luo Zhe, who is at the forefront of the chain, chooses, he will definitely choose the latter without hesitation, because he can no longer make a reasonable judgment when the adrenaline surges at the moment of survival and death, and he does not understand its importance.

It is to keep the whole self and die, or turn into a monster, which is a question worthy of serious consideration.

"The blood of God...what god? Zeus Odin or something?"

Luo Zhe wondered why there was such a strange thing? Faith only exists when it is needed. Rather than saying that God created and redeemed people, it is better to say that man created God and imposed a definition. God is...not that he does not exist.

"Who knows it? Perhaps it is not those things with superpowers listed with names, but things with general meaning, abstract meaning, and unknowable."

"But the only thing that can be confirmed now is that 'agnosticism' may usher in counterexamples, because the blood plague, the blood of God, can allow you to witness the ultimate of the universe, but you have to pay a very cruel price, and you have to make a choice."

"No need to give the answer quickly. We have time. Even if the hunter is fast, it cannot match the speed of consciousness or the speed of thoughts."

Qiao Ya's expressionless face.

Luo Zhe was silent for a long time and stared at the boatman on the Volga River on the wall.

"You are my awareness protection mechanism, right? Why don't you make the decision?"

Luo Zhe asked.

"This is the crux of the problem. Maybe you don't need protection. You need...evolution, although the direction is very alternative, maybe you can save tens of thousands or hundreds of millions of years for human civilization."

Qiao Ya hit the table with two fingers, waiting for Luo Zhe's reply.

"What kind of person is me at the forefront of the chain?"

Luo Zhe is more concerned about this issue. To be honest, he is doing the work of sprinkling spiritual feed to humans every day, and doing it is too sad to do it without being a human or a ghost.

"A totally different from you, he is free, because the definition of freedom is too ambiguous, in short, he is free, as free as you think you are."

Qiao Ya replied.

"That's it... there's nothing to say. He's far stronger than me."

"There is no defect? ​​If God's blood can destroy the essence of man, it can only mean that the person infected with blood plague is too weak. Rather than saying that fear of God is a matter of course, it is just weakness at all, and it cannot explain any problem. This is a defect."

"He has no flaws."

"Take me to see him, my... essence."

I heard from Qiao Ya that when you accept blood, you must see your own essence and ultimate self.

"I said before that you don't know yourself. This is a refuge in your spiritual world. You won't want to go to other places. You know, how terrible and terrible the secret you've hidden is. Even so, are you still going?"

Qiao Ya confirmed again.

"I'm sure."

Luo Zhe said calmly.

Just finished speaking.

...

All the surrounding scenes turned into illusion bubbles and shattered away, and all shattered in an instant. The house exploded from the center like a huge force like the origin of the universe, annihilated into nothingness.

...

Being in the darkness of nothingness is not the darkness that cannot be illuminated by light, but the ultimate nothingness that seems to be as if even space does not exist.

...

There is even no concept of light and vision, but nothing, nothing, no feeling, and only communication can be carried out through abstract concepts.

...

The essence is unseen, and you can only communicate with it and touch it through fragmented bytes.

...

Even Luo Zhe's body completely dissipated and turned into simple signals that could communicate.

...

Luo Zhe understood that what he had to face was his true self lurking under his body, all the hidden secrets that could not be revealed, the ultimate arrogance and contempt that could not be passed on to others, the mad beast that was suppressed and restrained at every moment, the resentment that was ready to break free under his skin, and the accumulated over many years of nowhere to vent...

...

The purest evil.

...

"You're finally here, coward."

...

There was no sound, it was more like a thought that was consciously produced by neurons, and it was feedback in Luo Zhe's mind.

...

“Do what you should do.”

...

Without too many words, Luo Zhe must integrate into his own essence.

...

"Even if you understand deeply that violent joy will only bring about violent endings, will it still continue?"

...

He tried to make Luo Zhe realize despair.

...

"Yes, devour me."

Luo Zhe said his last words.

...

A trembling laugh like abyss.

...

"Your will has been conveyed."

...

Tear...

Grinding...

What trembles the brain, is it moaning or singing?

But that doesn't matter anymore.
Chapter completed!