"Qingqing, what happened back then was your mother's own choice."

He said these words very softly, but they fell heavily on my heart. My face turned pale for a moment, and I seemed to have been hit by something. I shook slightly, and hurriedly reached out to hold the cold pillar next to me.

, just barely managed to stabilize his body.

It was my mother's choice.

It was her own choice...

My fingers convulsed slightly as they grasped the cold pillar. They were pale from the cold, but their palms were rubbed red. However, I felt nothing at this time. I just felt empty in my hands and empty in my heart.

It’s the same feeling as those years at the foot of the Western Mountains, nothing can be grasped.

The only thing I can hold is those soft and warm hands.

Every time my little hand is held like this, as long as I raise my head, I will see that face that is a little pale and very thin, but always has a faint smile, and the eyes are curved, filled with light like warm jade, that face

At that time, she and I were already very poor. There was no decoration on her body, but she was still so beautiful that people couldn't take their eyes away.

After so many years, I rarely think about her. Sometimes, I even feel that I may be slowly forgetting her.

But at this time, all the memories about her came back.

I can even clearly remember many nights when she was sitting on the edge of the bed, reading letters with her head down by the candlelight, and the many silver strands in her half-length hair lit up like snow under the candlelight.

, coupled with her deeply furrowed brows and the worry in her eyes, she seemed to have aged dozens of years.

If she hadn't left me...

If I hadn't left her...

So what should she look like now?

I was trembling, as if I was very cold, and I almost used all my strength to let go of the cold pillar to steady myself. I raised my head and looked at Fu Badai. His eyes were also facing me. Although I couldn't see them, they were clear.

He said calmly: "She knows exactly what she is doing and what she should do. Light, I hope you can be like your mother."

"Like her?" I murmured: "So, you still want me to let him go?"

"I just told you that feelings can be irrational, but they should also have a rational side. Why can't you be rational with him?"

"Reasonable?" I looked at him and said, "Am I not sensible enough?"

"Not enough." He shook his head: "It's really not enough."

Hearing this, I was neither angry nor impatient, but smiled: "So tell me, how should I be rational?"

Fu Badai pondered for a while, then looked at me and said solemnly: "Qingqing, have you ever thought about it, you have gone through thousands of sailings, and all you have met are the sons of rich people, princes and nobles, why do you never force yourself on them, but you

Are you obsessed with him alone?"

I looked at him silently.

He smiled: "You can't think of it, right?"

"..."

"Then if I say that in such troubled times, he is just a person who goes with the flow and avoids disaster, will you still like him and really be willing to stay with him for life?"

I was stunned and suddenly felt that everything in front of me was empty.

His words went over and over in my mind, like a warning bell that was heavier than the last, hitting my brain, making me confused, sober, and almost about to collapse.

I have really never asked myself.

If he goes with the crowd, if he stays safe and avoids trouble, if he doesn't have the kindness, kindness and character that once impressed me and made me feel happy, I will really fall in love with him, even at the cost of confronting the most powerful person in the world.

, also want to stay with him?

At this moment, I felt like the coldness was like thousands of sharp needles, all of a sudden piercing into my skin, limbs and five body parts. It was so cold that I forgot about the pain. I just kept shivering, as if all the bones in my body were about to break.

General, slowly raised his head and looked at Fu Badai: "So, you want to say that there is only one choice for me, right?"

He said nothing.

But I already understand what he is going to say.

If Liu Qinghan was not a person who just goes with the flow and avoids disasters, he would not have followed me, but would have stayed firmly to fulfill his dream and save all sentient beings from suffering.

This kind of him is exactly what I love.

If he is a person who goes with the flow and avoids disaster——

How could I love such a person?

Why should I need him to follow me?

Thinking of this, I suddenly laughed, but my eyes were full of tears.

It turns out that after walking for so long, I ended up walking into a dilemma.

In fact, if you don’t care, just for the rest of your life, anyone can do it.

But, I care.

At this time, I was speechless. I only felt full of sorrow and sorrow, but there was no word to express. Fu Badai had been standing in front of me so calmly. At this time, he said seriously: "Light, chaos in the world is inevitable."

, In these troubled times, good men should shoulder their responsibilities!"

I felt a little suffocated and uncomfortable, so I stretched out my hand to support the pillar, shivering and leaning on it. The coldness I felt in my body really didn't matter at this time, but it made me calm down.

Chaos in the world is inevitable.

A good man should take responsibility for himself.

Recalling the days in Jixiang Village, he opened his clear and bright eyes and carefully analyzed the chaos in the south and the tax system with me; recalling the bottom of the river valley, he told me seriously and with a hint of shyness,

He has a sense of responsibility for the South; looking back on those years...the years when I was not with him...

It turns out that he has really gone too far.

I slowly raised my head and looked at the old man who was much older than in my memory but still standing. I was filled with emotions for a while, but I didn’t know what to say. After being silent for a long time, I spoke a little.

He said hoarsely: "Sir."

He was shocked. This title seemed to remind him of something. He was speechless for a moment and looked at me with slightly widened eyes.

"You are right. In these troubled times, good men should shoulder their own responsibilities."

"..."

"I am not a student who has been taught bad things, I am a student who has not learned well. Although I know there will be chaos, I - I still want to find my daughter and take her to stay safe and avoid trouble. I..."

I don’t want my Li’er to remember his mother many years later without even a vague figure.

At this time, Fu Badai straightened his back, with a solemn look on his face, and said solemnly: "Light, the chaos in the south is already five years later than I predicted."

"..."

The last four words he said in an emphatic tone made me shudder, and I saw him tremblingly raising his hand towards me. I originally wanted to reach out, but as soon as I moved, I stopped and just looked at that

A hand that was so thin that it was almost withered slowly raised its head, groping all the way to the top of my head, and then gently stroked it.

"You - have done a great job!"

When I left Jixian Hall, the snow on the steps had been cleared away. I walked down step by step, stepping on the cold stone steps, and heard a lonely voice in the empty hall.

I didn't look back, I just stayed frozen and persisted, walking step by step.

When I walked to the carriage, they were all still waiting for me. Shuixiu hurriedly came forward, looked at my face that was so pale that there was almost no trace of blood, and said very worriedly: "Sir, why are you so cold? Your face looks so good.

It’s ugly. Let’s go back.”

"..." I was silent for a moment and shook my head.

She looked at me with wide eyes: "Then, where are you going?"

"The eldest princess."

Some low and soft sounds made her hear a little vaguely, but she only got a rough idea, and the girl was startled: "What?"

I raised my head and looked at her with dark eyes: "Go and see the eldest princess."

The carriage made a monotonous sound, rolling out two lonely lanes in the snow, and soon arrived at Pei Yuanzhen's residence.

She is really not too young, but because she has not yet left the palace, she is still living in the palace. She doesn’t know whether this is a blessing or a misfortune. She just got off the carriage and looked at the thick walls and eaves.

The snow seems to be looking at me, looking at her, and looking at the years of many people.

So cold, so lonely.

And all the way in, except for the faint sound of footsteps in the snow, there was nothing else, not even the servants. Shuixiu followed me all the time, and was about to reach Pei Yuanzhen's house.

She became even more strange when she found her residence, and murmured: "What's going on? Why is there no one there?"

Looking at me, I just looked pale and didn't say a word.

She whispered: "Sir, do you want to find someone to inform you?"

I paused and shook my head: "No need."

"Ah?"

There was some embarrassment on her face, but I already raised my head and walked over.
To be continued...