Chapter 234: The Great Way to Pick Up Girls

"Don't you look for a woman, are you planning to find a man?" Xiao Fan's face was as stern as a coffin.

The two are about the same age, but Zhu Yunwen is already his father. Those who become fathers are still so innocent. Xiao Fan really doesn't know whether to be relieved or despised.

Zhu Yunwen looked increasingly confused. After thinking for a long time, he couldn't get it. He begged: "Shi Du Xiao, what do you mean by saying that I was looking for the wrong direction?"

Xiao Fan couldn't help but sigh when he looked at his pitiful look.

If he didn't wear a dragon robe, what kind of thing does this guy look like an emperor? The most noble person in the world can't even pick up a girl. He has lost such a noble status in vain. No wonder his uncle robbed the country and couldn't do small things well. How can he do big things?

"Pursuing women means picking up girls. Have you never done it before?" Xiao Fan was very surprised.

Zhu Yunwen said in a depressed state: "I have heard you mention this statement before, but I have never done this. My first wife, Empress Ma, was chosen by the emperor's grandfather for me. Later, the concubines in the palace were selected from the girls from all over the country. Who do I want to favor? They have to lie down on the bed for me to be honest, can I use me to soak them?"

Xiao Fan looked at him sympathetically: "So, you don't even have a first love?"

"First love?" Zhu Yunwen's eyes showed a strange look: "This word is well used! I...it seems like I really don't have a first love."

Xiao Fan sighed, the noble Supreme Master, who was above, did not even have a serious love relationship, which was pitiful and lamentable.

"How did you like Huang Guan's sister?"

Zhu Yunwen showed a happy expression and said, "Actually, it was a coincidence. When I was traveling in the capital city in vain, I happened to see Huang Ying going out on the side of Xuanwu Lake. The weather was quite hot at that time. She sat under the willows by the lake. She thought there was no one around, so she took off her shoes and socks and soaked her jade feet into the lake. However, I saw that the scene happened to be seen by me. You know, a woman's feet cannot be watched by strange men at will. Later, when she saw me looking at her not far from her, she screamed in fear on the spot..."

Xiao Fan nodded and said, "What's the matter?"

Zhu Yunwen was immersed in the beautiful memories and said happily: "Then... I was chased by her barefoot and killed Sanlidi..."

Xiao Fan: “…………”

"Since then, I have loved her deeply, Xiao Shidu, do you know? Actually, I have lived in the deep palace for a long time and lived a happy life. I have many concubines, but those women are respectful and awe-in-law in front of me, and they only see my dragon robe and the supreme imperial power in their eyes, but they never dare to enter my heart. I have many concubines, but I feel extremely lonely... But Huang Ying is different. She is very lively, cheerful, and has no scheming. She is an innocent and good woman. Even though she is a little more stingy and domineering, this is exactly what I like her..."

Xiao Fan said slowly: "I understand, you are purely cheap."

Zhu Yunwen looked at Xiao Fan, and asked for help in his eyes, saying, "Xiao Shidou, you must help me. This is the first time in my life that I have fallen in love with a woman. I want to marry her and I want to be her man!"

Xiao Fan sighed and said, "But they seem to be heartless to you..."

"So you have to help me!" Zhu Yunwen's eyes became anxious.

"How do you want me to help you?"

"Don't hook her up, just help me..."

Xiao Fan's face gradually turned dark: "…………”

Zhu Yunwen smiled and said, "Oh, let's just kidding you... Xiao Shidu, I have no experience in this area, please help me with some advice."

Xiao Fan felt that he had a hard life. Not only did he devote himself to maintaining Zhu Yunwen's country and the throne, he worked day and night, but he also had to provide advice on the young emperor's career of picking up girls. He was involved in all his business and private affairs. What could he do if he had such an emperor who didn't understand anything?

If history is pushed forward a thousand years, he and Zhu Yunwen will be a replica of Zhuge Liang and A Dou. One is exhausted and the other is happy. It should be thrown away by goods and people should be killed by others...

After sighing a long time, Xiao Fan patted Zhu Yunwen on the shoulder and said earnestly: "A Dou..."

Zhu Yunwen said with a dark face: "...My nickname is not A Dou!"

"Your Majesty, it depends on talent to pick up girls, but the method is also very important. The words and behaviors should be appropriate..."

“Appropriate? For example?”

"For example, when everyone is not familiar with each other, you can't break in and help her wipe her back while she is taking a shower. Although it's kind, people are probably not happy. This is inappropriate..."

Zhu Yunwen opened his eyes wide, and looked like he suddenly realized, and let out a long "oh".

Xiao Fan stared at him expectantly and said, "Does he feel suddenly enlightened?"

Unexpectedly, Zhu Yunwen immediately raised his face and said, "Aren't you talking nonsense? How stupid am I in your heart? Do you think I might do such a thing?"

"Okay, since you are not that stupid, I will reluctantly teach you a few tricks..." Xiao Fan's tone was very authoritative, like an expert who had been experienced in love.

Zhu Yunwen started excitedly and said, "Speak quickly, speak quickly!"

After pondering for a while, Xiao Fan slowly said: "First of all, Huang Ying didn't know that you were the emperor, and she didn't have any affection for you now, that is, you are actually a piece of shit in her eyes..."

Zhu Yunwen curled his lips and almost cried: "I'm not that bad, right?"

Xiao Fan said seriously: "The words are a little more vulgar, but the truth is correct."

Staying silent for a long time...

"Okay, I'm a piece of shit..." Zhu Yunwen was forced to admit it and said earnestly: "Then what?"

Xiao Fan said leisurely: "Then, there is nothing more..."

"Ah?" Zhu Yunwen was shocked.

"If I don't teach you a few tricks, you won't be able to do it..." Xiao Fan added.

"Teach me quickly!"

Xiao Fan dressed up and bowed to Zhu Yunwen as a courtesy, and said seriously: "Your Majesty, I have the 'Five Waves Truth' to pick up girls. I hope to present them to Your Majesty to help the lord to sanctify the pure girl and *** slut in the world!"

Zhu Yunwen was excited and then said happily: "The Wulang Mantra sounds so sharp. Xiao Shidu, tell me!"

"The so-called five waves of truth, one of which is called 'romance'..."

“What does romance mean?”

"It is romantic words or behavior that can touch the softest part of a woman's heart at a certain moment. As long as you have such a small moment, you will have you in her heart from now on. Women are actually the type of people who are greater than reason. As long as you move her for a moment, she will devote herself to you for the rest of her life..."

Zhu Yunwen interrupted, "How can you do what you said...romantic?"

"This is actually very simple, such as...sing a love song for her, or scattering petals and rain for her wherever she passes."

Zhu Yunwen pondered and said, "Forget it, I'm singing with my voice, I'm afraid she will be so scared that she will chase me to death again. ***Panyu... Well, this is possible. Xiao Shilu, you continue."

"The five waves of truth, the second one is 'waste'."

"waste?"

"Yes! Waste, women like men who are willing to spend money on her. The more generous the easier it is to gain her favor. She will think that you value her, which will indirectly move her... For example, you can go to a restaurant for a wallet and invite her to a banquet, and you and her are the only ones in the building..."

Zhu Yunwen shook his head and said, "This is not possible. I have more money, but Huang Ying is a serious girl. She rarely goes out on weekdays. Even if she goes out, she will not be able to live in the same restaurant with me, a lonely man and a widow..."

"Okay, I won't mention this. The third is the truth about the Five Waves, saying 'Prodigal Son'. As the saying goes, men are not bad, women do not love..."

Zhu Yunwen frowned and said, "Who is this the saying?"

"All the sayings are my original... Bad men can easily arouse women's curiosity. She will think you are mysterious and want to explore what makes you bad, whether you have experienced vicissitudes of life or unbearable past events. A arrogant, unrestrained and unrestrained man can easily arouse women's imagination and yearning..."

"Just try to pretend?"

"Yes, you have to pretend naturally and not look too deliberate. If you reveal the traces, you will be a flawless look."

“What is the fourth?”

"The fourth is 'wave', which is a bit difficult. Take her to the lake, and then you run together in slow motion at the lake, sprinkling cheerful laughter all the way. The smile should be natural, pure, and not be lewd. Finally, you play in the water and splash water with each other naughtyly for fun. The advantage of doing this is that you will soon find that you are wet and she is wet, and finally..."

Zhu Yunwen said in horror: "In the end, she will definitely kill me with a knife!"

Xiao Fan coughed dryly and said, "This step should be because she has a vague affection for you. It will be implemented when you are more ambiguous. It will definitely not work at this stage..."

"Shi Yu, what is the fifth one?"

"Fifth...it's even harder for you. The last wave of the Five Waves Truth...***, this...you know."

Zhu Yunwen wiped his sweat and said, "That should be the time for me and her to have fun in the bridal chamber... Will she call me or do I call me?"

"It doesn't matter who calls me, what's important is that you must wave!"

Zhu Yunwen patted his chest and said, "Don't worry, I'm just shaking the earth..."

After pausing, Zhu Yunwen said, "After saying so much, I think the most reliable one is ***Panther Rain. This is not difficult and will not annoy her. Well, that's what I decided, I'll order someone to find Huaer..."

Xiao Fan couldn't help but remind: "Your Majesty, don't sprinkle things randomly. It doesn't matter. It's not appropriate to sprinkle cactus..."

Zhu Yunwen was stunned for a moment, then begged with a bitter face: "Shi Du Xiao, please, don't think of me as stupid?"

Xiao Fan said with relief: "It's good if you're not stupid. Your Majesty, try hard to get Huang Ying. I'll deal with her brother. Let's work together to let his Huang family fall into our hands!"

Zhu Yunwen's handsome face twitched violently.

This is so beastly!

After being fooled by Xiao Fan, Zhu Yunwen happily prepared the petals and lingered Huang Ying with a stern face, and began to create romance and opportunities for him.

In the next few days, there were suddenly more Jinyi lieutenants coming and going from the yamen of the Jinyiwei Fushiyao. Some people dressed in casual clothes and strange-looking figures came in and out of the yamen. After leaving the yamen, they headed straight to the gate of the capital and went to other places, like drops of water melting into the sea, without any trace.

Then, the supreme leader of the Jinyiwei and commander Xiao Fan issued several orders to his confidants in the yamen. With Xiao Fan's order, the huge state machine of the Jinyiwei began to rotate quickly and effectively.

The court in the capital was still surrounded by a strange and depressing atmosphere. Whether it was the Qingliu, the treacherous party, or the meritorious princes, the wind blows the fence-bearing on both sides, and the neutral faction who does not get involved in everything... These people maintain a strange silence. All the factions in the court seem to have made an appointment. They do not open or privately, and they all keep silent about political affairs, let alone the battle between the treacherous party and the Qingliu in the court. Everyone looks as if they are secretive.

This situation lasted for three days, and even Zhu Yunwen, who had always been careless, could see something was wrong, but he couldn't say what was wrong.

Just as everyone was looking forward, fear, or indifference, the long-simmering struggle finally started on the fourth day.

In the morning court, Zhou Shen, the chief of the Ministry of War, stood up and impeached Emperor Zhu Yunwen to the commander of the Yunnan governor, Liu Yangsheng falsely reported the number of soldiers under his jurisdiction and was greedy for military pay. The original fixed rank of the Thousand Houses of the Thousand Houses of the Thousand Houses of the Thousand Houses of the Thousand Houses of the Thousand Houses of the Thousand Houses of the Thousand Houses of the Thousand Houses of the Thousand Houses of the Thousand Houses of the Thousand Houses of the Thousand Houses of the Thousand Houses of the Thousand Houses of the Thousand Houses of the Thousand Houses of the Thousand Houses of the Thousand Houses of the People's Republic of China, but he received the full military pay, food and rice from the Yunnan governor for four consecutive years.

Zhu Yunwen issued an imperial edict without much consideration, ordering Liu Yangsheng to be dismissed and ordered the Jinyiwei to arrest him into Beijing. The Ministry of Justice and the Ministry of War will jointly review it and punish it according to the law after discussing the crime.

The generals of thousands of households were greedy for military pay, food and rice, which was originally an inconspicuous trivial matter, and most court officials did not take it seriously, including those ministers of the Qingliu.

The Golden Palace has to report so many state affairs to the emperor every day. Who would pay attention to the greed and trivial matters of the generals of a few households?
To be continued...