When I first met Lei Jun and heard about Shadow for the first time, I really joined this mysterious organization without hesitation. During the most difficult time in the training team, I insisted on my belief. At that time, I really felt that working in the Shadow Group itself was the greatest honor of Chinese soldiers, because the top soldiers in the PLA gathered here, and they completed countless tasks that ordinary people could not imagine, and made achievements that may never be made public, but were indelible in the history of the Republic.

For a long time, I thought that the value of my life was to make achievements in the shadow group. Later, I gradually realized that my personality was not suitable for development in an organization like shadow. One of the reasons: joining shadow means living in darkness. This is not only a problem that my identity cannot be disclosed, but more importantly, I usually come into contact with some unknown darkness. With my personality, I will definitely not get used to it after living such a long time.

The second reason is that this is also the most important. Since the day I put on my military uniform, I have lived in the military academy for four years, and my understanding of the troops has been profound enough. I know that there are shortcomings in the army now, and there are a few officers and soldiers with distorted values. Returning to the sun and returning to the grassroots troops may be a better choice for me. If I were given a company, I would be confident that all the personnel in the company would be croaked and a battalion would be silenced. I can guarantee that there would be no bear soldier in the commanders and fighters in the battalion! With enough power, I can change the status quo and build my ideal army!

The third reason is naturally to choose to leave the shadow and develop the army wholeheartedly. It is good news for your family and lovers. They don’t have to worry about my safety all day long, and I don’t have to try my best to find countless excuses for mysterious disappearances.

Under my uncle's decisive attitude, I suddenly figured out these things and felt relaxed all over. I looked at my uncle with hope, hoping that he would give me an answer.

The uncle thought for a long time and finally said:

"I can give you a chance to prove yourself, but before this, don't come to Xiaoying. I don't want you to do what you said. You and Xiaoying are calm down during this period. Young people have always been impulsive in dealing with feelings. I also hope you can think clearly."

I said without thinking: "No problem. Next time I come to my house, I will bring my officer certificate, real estate certificate, uncle, then I will leave first. Please see how I perform!"

Uncle nodded, I walked up to Xiaoying and said to her:

"Xiaoying, let's admit your mistake to your father in a while, and then spend a few more days at home. When the school starts, take a plane and don't take the train. It's hard to endure two days and two nights! You have to take good care of yourself, I'll go back first, and I'll go to Beijing tomorrow. After all, I'm a first-class hero. I can still satisfy my organization if I ask a little bit!"

Xiaoying nodded with red eyes and said:

"Then Changfeng, you should take care of yourself!"

I nodded, greeted my uncle and aunt, and turned around and left.

Sitting in the taxi home, I have never felt so relaxed. Since I recovered my memory, I have lived in a huge psychological shadow. Zhang Xuanbo's eyes were wide open before his death, Fu Chun's terrifying wounds, and the thick smoke rolling in the hotel window... Everything is like a lingering shadow, entangled me every day. I have read related books and know what psychological trauma is on the battlefield. I know that my state cannot be explained by psychological problems. In the final analysis, it is still my personality problem. In many cases, although I know that our actions are for the overall situation and for the interests of the country, I still stubbornly believe that the sacrifices of Zhang Xuanbo and Wu Dawei are meaningless. Maybe in the army during peacetime, I will be a good commander. Even in the war era, I can lead my soldiers to charge and move forward bravely! But I will not be a good strategist, and I am more suitable for a showdown of clear swords and guns.

After the Fat Pig King told me that, I lived in conflict. Today, I finally made up my mind for my future development. I felt like a thousand kilogram of rock pressing on myself suddenly disappeared. I was extremely relaxed. I had begun to look forward to my life in the army, lively in full swing!

After I got home, I started to pack my luggage. My parents told me that I was in a hurry to be discharged from the hospital last time. Some things were not handled yet and I had to go to Beijing tomorrow. They didn’t ask too much. They were already very happy when they saw that I was safe and safe, so they just kept telling me to be careful and calm when things happened.

I spent a quiet and warm night at home. The next morning, I said goodbye to my parents with my bag and boarded a flight to Beijing. A few hours later, I set foot on the land of Beijing. I first found a place to stay, and then dialed the contact number left by Lei Jun with my mobile phone:

"Hey? Brother Lei?"

"Yes, who are you?"

"Team Leader Lei, I am Lu Changfeng, I'm back to Beijing!"

Lei Jun was a little surprised, and he said, "Oh? So fast? You can rest for a while! Haha, but since you are back, come and find me! I have something to talk to you about!"

I knew what he was going to talk to me, so I immediately said:

"Okay, where will we meet?"

Lei Jun thought for a while and said:

"Well... go to the General Staff Guesthouse! I booked a room there. Call me when you arrive!"

I said, "Okay! Let's talk about it when we meet! Goodbye to the team leader!"

"goodbye!"

Soon I found the General Staff Guesthouse. Lei Jun was obviously already here. I called his phone and rang. He answered it. He said:

"Xiao Lu, right! Come to room 302! I'll wait for you here!"

I stood at the door of Room 302, took a deep breath, thought for a while what I should say, then raised my hand and knocked on the door, and the door opened soon. Lei Jun saw me and said with a smile:

"Our hero is back! Come in! Come in!"

I walked closer to the room and found a person inside, sitting on the sofa smoking. He was about fifty years old and had a little baldness. The remaining hair was combed meticulously. His face was already a little wrinkled, but his whole body looked very neat and had a temperament that made people feel close.

Lei Jun smiled and said, "Let me introduce it, Chief, this is Comrade Lu Changfeng, the first hero of this mission. He shot the target with his own hands. Of course, he was also seriously injured and even lost his memory..."

Speaking of this, he turned around and asked:

"By the way, Changfeng, you are now..."

I naturally knew what he was asking, so I smiled and said:

"Report to the team leader, I've completely recovered!"

Lei Jun smiled with relief and said, "That's good! Changfeng, this person is the person in charge of our shadow group, and his code name is Shadow. Today, the leader personally talked to you about your future whereabouts. I hope you are mentally prepared and don't rush to make a decision!"

I nodded and looked at that person with a little curiosity. It was unimaginable that such a mysterious and lethal shadow group, its person in charge had such an image, just like the uncle of the neighbor, who seemed to be happy all day long. The leader saw me looking at him and couldn't help but ask with a smile:

"Little comrade, don't you believe my identity? Let me tell you, I am the shadow leader who is like a fake, your direct leader..."

I quickly said, "No! No! By the way, please tell me if you have any instructions, Chief."

The leader said with a smile: "Sit down and chat! Xiao Lu! Don't be nervous, we are like we are having sex. Today I mainly want to hear your own true thoughts!"

I sat down on the chair opposite him, with my waist straightened, looking at him intently, waiting for the following text. Seeing my restrained look, he couldn't help laughing again, and then said:

"Xiao Lu, if you are given a chance to make a new choice, will you still join the shadow group?"

Unexpectedly, the leader used this method to talk, and I was in a dilemma. I knew that he was giving me the right to choose, leave or stay. But I really couldn't answer this question. I said I didn't regret it, so how could I choose to leave? If I regret it, it would be even more distorted.

Seeing my embarrassment, the leader said with a smile:

"It doesn't matter, what you say! I just want to hear your true thoughts!"

I thought about it and said:

"Chief, I don't know how to answer your question. If I followed the mentality at that time, I would join our shadow group without hesitation. However, if I put it now, I might consider whether this is suitable for me, because there are many ways to serve the country. I will choose the position that is most suitable for me and can best play my abilities!"

The leader asked as I said:

"So have you considered it?"

As soon as these words came out, he kept staring at me, and Lei Jun also looked at me nervously. I gritted my teeth and said:

"Chief, to be honest, I have considered it. Since I recovered my memory, I have been thinking about it, because my heart is not at peace for a moment. Once I close my eyes, I will think of Zhang Xuanbo, and Wu Dawei..."

Lei Jun explained beside him:

"Chief, Xiao Lu is talking about the two comrades who died in the last mission..."

The leader nodded and turned to ask:

"Is Xiao Lu's way of doing this count as a psychological trauma on the battlefield?"

Lei Jun nodded and said, "Comrade Lu Changfeng just came out of the training team. Although his grades were excellent, it was his first time to experience actual combat, and it was the most tragic actual combat since the establishment of the shadow. We have never been so embarrassed. Therefore, it is understandable that he was affected a little psychologically. I believe that after the guidance of experts, he will recover soon!"

I could hear that Lei Jun couldn't bear to leave me. He told me more than once that I was the best and most talented team member he had ever seen, but I knew where I was more suitable! I also knew that I would not change my mind after making up my mind.

I said:

"No, chief, I don't think there is something wrong with me. In the training team, I have experienced strict battlefield environment adaptation training, and my grades are excellent! Although I have experienced the fact that my comrades fell by my side in actual combat, I know that this will not affect my psychology."

The leader looked at me with interest and asked:

"Oh? Then what do you think it is?"

I said:

"Chief, I know that all Shadow's actions are meaningful and are for the supreme national interests. However, after careful consideration, I think I am not suitable for Shadow's work. Let me give an inappropriate example: If I were a decision maker, in the last Taiwan Strait crisis, I would choose to cross the sea to fight instead of sending special forces to smash the enemy's attempt. I know that doing this is a bit mentally retarded. What I want to explain is my personality. I don't think I am suitable for Shadow's identity, who lives in the dark. Chief, what I am talking about is my own thoughts, I hope the Chief will not be offended!"

The leader thought for a while and said with a smile:

"I won't blame you, I just want to hear the truth! Haha, Xiao Lei, I think I have already got Comrade Lu Changfeng's answer! Please help make arrangements. If Comrade Xiao Lu has any requirements, you should try to satisfy it!"

"yes!"

The leader stood up, walked out the door, and said as he walked:

"I'm going back to the office. Xiao Lei, you have a good talk with Comrade Lu Changfeng and explain some specific things!"

Lei Jun quickly stepped forward and opened the door for the leader and said:

"Yes! Don't worry! I will do it, the leader will go slowly!"

After seeing off the chief, Lei Jun walked into the house and asked:

"Changfeng, did the Fat Pig King tell you about this?"

I nodded silently, and Lei Jun said:

"Then I won't repeat it. Today you chose to withdraw from the shadow group. I was surprised, but I respect your personal opinions! To be honest, I am very optimistic about you. If you stay, your future achievements will definitely be above me, but you have already expressed your opinion to the leader..."

His tone was filled with regret, and I said softly:

"Team Leader Lei, I have always respected you very much, and it will be the same in the future. This time it is completely my personal choice and has nothing to do with anyone else. After listening to Brother Wang, I kept thinking about this matter. Later, I finally figured it out. I am not suitable for the shadow group..."

Lei Jun nodded and said, "You know the discipline. You must keep any shadow-related matters in the future. The time limit is...a lifetime!"

I nodded, and Lei Jun continued:

"By the way, the last first-class merit has been approved, and this can be regarded as a reward given to you by superiors through other channels! I will give you the certificate and military medal later. Do you have any other requirements?"

I said:

"Team leader, I want to work in Fuzhou, and it is best to be the head of the grassroots company! Although I chose to leave, I have never given up my ideal of making achievements in the army!"

Lei Jun nodded in approval, and then asked a little hesitantly:

"There is no problem with this, we can arrange it, but I seem to feel that Vice President Zhong intends to let you stay in Beijing to work..."

I suddenly remembered the hateful Wang family again. They were everywhere like flies. I also remembered the southeast that my grandfather said was a relatively powerful area of ​​the Wang family. It seems that my journey in the future will not be very stable...

I said, "I will go to Deputy General Manager Zhong to report my thoughts. Please help me with work matters!"
Chapter completed!