- It's purely a joke, please do not match the numbers

Wei Zhongxian, a native of Suining, Hejian, was ignorant of the emperor, and was actually a rogue who was drunk and sex. He married Feng and gave birth to a daughter. One day, Wei and a group of friends were gambling, and lost all their clothes and pampered his wife Feng under the instigation of his gambling friend Cui Chengxiu. Unfortunately, after half a round, he lost his wife to Cui Chengxiu. It turned out that Cui had been coveting Wei's wife Feng for a long time, because of the ancient saying of "Friends' Wife as Just Riding" (Ximen Qing's "Sex Remarks Collection"), so he set up this gambling game. Although Wei Zhongxian is a bastard on weekdays, he still feels about his wife.

情的,所以便有了赖帐的想法.但崔呈秀哪里肯依,当下,两人便撕打起来,最后,魏忠贤被揍得鼻青脸肿,满地找牙.那崔呈秀也打累了,对魏忠贤说:“想不给老婆也可以,除非你把自己宫了.”魏忠贤情急之下昏了头,心想:先保住老婆再说.于是挥刀割下自己的生殖器.望着被割下的生殖器,魏忠贤恍然大悟,惨叫道:“我靠,没了这东西,我还要老婆干什么?”

After being castrated, Wei Zhongxian was beaten by his wife at home, and finally one day he was kicked out of the house by his wife. The penniless Wei Zhongxian begged along the road to the capital. It happened that Daming recruited eunuchs from the People's College, so he signed up. Half a month later, he graduated with excellent grades and entered the palace to become a eunuch. Since Wei Zhongxian was illiterate, when he first entered the palace, he did rough work such as looking at the warehouse and turning down urine buckets. Later, he was the emperor's nurse Keshi

(called "Madam Fengsheng" at the time) became more and more popular. It turned out that one day Wei Zhongxian went online and found that someone sold artificial genitals, so he spent 200 taels of silver to order one and tied it under him. He looked like that when he looked coldly, and this thing could be persistent and never let it go, so he made Keshi Day happy. In this way, under Keshi's recommendation, Old Wei became a success and soon got into the eunuch bureau as the eunuch and was also the governor of the East Factory, claiming to be nine thousand years old.

Once this official becomes bigger, there are naturally more people who flatter and flatter, and those who give money and goods recognize godfathers. All these things must be rewarded, and many people who have promoted their titles. Later, when they get tired of giving gifts, some people began to think of new tricks. First, Zhejiang Governor Pan Ruzhen first proposed to build a ancestral hall for the Nine Thousand Years. This plan came out to the minds of Wei Zhongxian. Just imagine, it is inevitable that people who have lost their parents will die. Building several ancestral halls will be a comfort in the nineteenth century. As soon as the construction of the hall was opened, officials from all over the world rushed to imitate them. From then on, building a ancestral hall became the standard for the Nine Thousand Years to examine the political achievements of officials (the term political achievement project is obtained from this). For a time, cutting down trees and digging fields and making them produce.

When destroying houses and building ancestral halls, all places showed prosperity of "hungry thousands of miles", "sading all over the world", "high halls stand in the sky", and "self-deception". According to the Dongchang TV station at that time, many homeless people spontaneously organized themselves and prepared to go to the capital to express their gratitude together. Upon hearing this news, Eunuch Wei said emotionally: "It was the people who raised me. Although I have lost my sons and grandchildren, I will always be the son of the people. It is my responsibility to repay the people. I should do harm to the country and the people. Because there are too many people who want to come to the capital to express their gratitude, it is easy to cause misunderstandings. Therefore, in the future, anyone who comes to Beijing will be punished as a crime of harassing his father-in-law." This has prevented this spontaneous thank-you wind from the people.

Although Wei Zhongxian appears to be majestic, he has a heart disease that makes him restless at night. You can guess it without saying it - he has no genitals. One day, Wei Zhongxian suddenly remembered his gambling friend Cui Chengxiu. This kid is full of bad water. Although he thought that he forced himself to cut his genitals back then, he would not be so rich without him, right? So he immediately sent someone to rumor Cui Chengxiu to Beijing. When the person who sent the message to Cui Chengxiu's house, the kid was hugging Wei Zhongxian's ex-wife Feng and was having fun. When he heard that Jiu Qiansui was looking for him, he suddenly became a little young.

Then he urinated on Feng's body. Cui Chengxiu came to the capital with trembling trembling. When he saw Jiu Qiansui kowtow like pounding garlic, he shouted that his father would spare his life. This was a coincidence. Wei Zhongxian liked others to call him father the most, so he immediately said with a smile: "My son is calm, your father, I have nothing to do with you, just because I am worried about me because I am less worried. There is a famous saying in our industry: "Your Majesty" If you want to do something good, you must first sharpen your tools, but we don't have this "wealth" as our father-in-law. Recently, we always feel that someone is ridiculing me behind the scenes. You know that you are a kid, so please think of a solution."

Cui Chengxiu thought for a while and said, "This is a difficult thing. Our current medical skills are not as good as the 21st century. Otherwise, I can transfer my things to you. It seems that I can only make a fake one." Wei Zhongxian interrupted him impatiently: "Damn, why do you find a fake one? There are many people selling this stuff online. I have asked Ke Shi's old girl to break more than a thousand. Although the fake ones can be used, she always feels that it is not right." Cui Chengxiu said, "Godfather, don't worry, it's not easy to make a legitimate name? Isn't it enough to make a theory to prove that fake ones are more real than real? Don't you hear the truth that 'I believe it if you tell lies a thousand times'." Hearing this, Wei Zhongxian suddenly realized and said happily: "Little Cui, you have to handle this matter with all your power."

The next day, the signed article "Nine Thousand Years on the Development Direction of Genitals" by special commentator Cui Chengxiu was published in the Dongchang Daily, and it was accompanied by a large photo of the "Zhongxian Brand" fake genitals commonly used by Wei Zhongxian. The article analyzes the three major benefits of fake genitals dialectically - first, it can save physical strength and blood, which is conducive to men to devote themselves to their work wholeheartedly; second, it is eternal and lasting, persisting and not ejaculation, fully meeting the fundamental needs of the most prosperous women; third, it drives the rapid development of the genital manufacturing industry, which is conducive to improving the fundamental benefits of the general public.

On the third day, Dongchang issued a document to the whole country to comprehensively discuss and learn the advanced theories of Jiu Qiansui on fake genitals, and quickly set off a *** nationwide. That night, Dongchang TV news program broadcast a series of interview programs. Officials from all over the country spoke enthusiastically in front of the TV cameras. Liu Zhao, the governor of Jizhou, said excitedly: "The advanced theories of Jiu Qiansui are like the bright lights in the night, which make us happy and excited. In the future, our genitals will not have to be explored in the dark." Soon, newspapers across the country published articles on the theory of officials above the seventh rank and above to learn the advanced theories of Jiu Qiansui. The officials in the entire Daming Dynasty had a sensational storm, and everyone rushed to buy the "Zhongxian Brand" genitals to wear. Men who castrated themselves were prone to gain weight, so the officials in the TV cameras looked fat at that time.

At this moment, a person who was unaware of the image appeared and published an article in his own Donglin Party Newspaper titled "Can a fake play behaviour be done?" The article said: "Can a fake genitalia that insists on not ejaculation bring pleasure to people? I think this thing is quite useful for rape, because it is always firm regardless of time and place, regardless of whether it is good or bad, but it doesn't know what the person being raped thinks. Such a self-deception theory has become a tool to proclaim itself. Of course, I do not oppose the development of the genitalia in the direction of "bigger" and "stronger".

However, how can you treat a goal as your own achievements? It is understandable to brag properly, but I oppose calling rape close cooperation; calling screams a groan of happiness!" As soon as this article was released, it was like stabbing a hornet's nest. Officials across the country wanted everyone to be punished. The memorial impeachment of Gu Xiancheng flew into the capital like snowflakes. Wei Zhongxian was angry and disgraced Gu Xiancheng for the people, and carried out activities to kill dissidents across the country. As a result, everyone in the country was in danger and was silent, forming a good situation of full and free speech.

After the campaign to kill dissidents, the whole country was vocal and unanimous. People increasingly believed in the benefits of fake genitals and liked the advantages of fake genitals more and more. Therefore, on one day when conditions were ripe, the fact that Jiu Qiansui had the best and most advanced genitals in the world was written into the genealogy of Wei Zhongxian's family. Everyone in the Daming Dynasty was proud of having a fake genitals. At this time, Eunuch Wei also had full confidence and no longer felt ashamed of himself.

It is better for human calculation than for heaven. It is also Wei Zhongxian who did all the bad things. God is angry and resentful. Suddenly, the idiot emperor returned to the west. The newly appointed emperor disliked Wei Zhongxian before he ascended the throne. He annoyed him as if he was shaking his head and pretending to be a grandson. So he listed ten major crimes and wanted to kill him quickly. After hearing the wind, he was so scared that he hanged himself at night. The family members were also destroyed. The genealogy of Wei Zhongxian with the most advanced genitals was unknown since then. Because all men in the Daming Dynasty learned from Wei Zhongxian and castrated themselves, the country gradually declined. In a few years, a group of monsters with braids occupied the country, and the Daming Dynasty destroyed the country and the seeds.


Chapter completed!