The hospital is always full of unhygienic atmosphere, and all diseases seem to be piled up together, waiting for an opportunity to invade the bodies of vulnerable patients.

He sat in the white ward, with the green walls giving people a sense of security, but he didn't feel anything about it, everything was floating around. He was standing opposite him to observe the world, and his eyes penetrated into the female doctor's body, as if he was the doctor, asking questions about the condition.

I, myself...

The word that doctors say most in a concerned tone is "self".

Who is yourself and who is yourself?

He raised his little head and looked at her eyes over the nameplate placed in front of the doctor. The glass resin lenses refracted the lilac light, and her eyes were very gentle, like a warm candlelight.

He has discovered since he was a child that he had two self:

One is to observe oneself, and the other is to act on oneself. They are all squeezed into the body, but one seems too small, and the one who observes oneself often runs outside. The two of them cannot communicate because they are actually the same oneself.

But which one is yourself?

He was trapped by this strange problem - a problem that no other children had ever experienced.

So he is not normal.

The mother sat beside her and put her arm on his shoulder worriedly.

"What's the problem with my child... Doctor, is he okay? He has never been stimulated since he was a child..."

This is how my mother faces all doctors. From the beginning when he was a child, the family is harmonious, the family has no genetic history, and has not been stimulated since childhood. After saying this, she would complain to the doctor, why did her child become like this?

Why?

Sorry, mom. He thought to himself.

But he didn't feel apologized.

If your parents are angry, just say "I'm sorry". This is what the adults told him.

The female doctor comforted: "In fact, there is no need to think too badly about disintegration. It is equivalent to an overly strong protection mechanism, and the child will close some emotions."

"Why did he become like this? Are you saying that this is my educational problem?"

My mother always put the topic on this, making his heart pound.

Mom, stop talking.

He closed his eyes.

"Mother of the child, I'm not talking about you," the young female doctor was helpless in the face of emergencies. "This is congenital, but our hospital, parents, you and your children work together, and there will definitely be a way to restore normalcy."

"How to recover! How many hospitals did I take him to? From Wuhan to Beijing, and then transferred to Shanghai, do you know? One day he was almost hit and killed by a car! That truck..." My mother sobbed.

He turned his face away and recalled what happened that day.

The truck driver who was driving tired drove the car onto the sidewalk. He stood indifferently by the truck, and a deep wound was cut with his right hand, but he did not move. If it weren't for the kind-hearted person on the side who took him away from the truck, he would have been crushed to death or affected by the explosion.

But why run away?

Only the timid will escape, and he must be a brave child.

"Mom Li Kuangshi, please calm down. Let Li Kuangshi recuperate in the hospital during this period. The nurse will take care of him throughout the day." said the female doctor.

Hearing this sentence, he immediately guessed what his mother was going to say next.

"Doctor, what's the use of hospitalization? Our family's savings are almost spent, and the child's father is missing again... Can you think of a solution? I really can't afford the money... I'll be hospitalized wherever you go! Is there no other way to such a famous hospital? The longer you delay... He has long been in elementary school, and other children are studying. He stays at home all day, and now he has to live in the hospital and is in the ward. What will children of the same age think?! He doesn't have a friend yet!"

The more my mother talked, the more hysterical she became.

He stared at the doctor and his mother indifferently, then turned his head and prepared to get up.

He knew he was going to the next hospital.

"Mum Li Kuangshi, our hospital has an affiliated primary school," the doctor said calmly, "If you are worried about his studies, you can let him go to school with the children there."

"The kids there? They are all mentally ill people!" The mother stared at the female doctor in horror, as if this action was to push her son to the hell of a lunatic. "How could my son go to that kind of place?!"

The doctor sighed: "Li Kuangshi's mother, is there anything wrong with Li Kuangshi living with those children?"

"What do you mean? Because my child has mental problems, all of them have to live with other mental problems? Why do you think this is the case?"

The doctor crossed his hands: "I always felt that there was no difference between ordinary and special among children. It was strange to divide them into normal people and mental illnesses, isn't it?"

"What are you talking about?" Mother's eyes turned red and swollen.

Hearing this sentence, he looked at the young female doctor curiously.

"For children, as long as they think that the other party is a good playmate, this is enough. There are also many children like Li Kuangshi in our school, but after psychological counseling, everyone gets along happily. You can go and have a look now. Today is Thursday, the school is in class."

The mother took back her unreasonable attitude and calmed down a little.

He was a little moved after hearing this.

Everyone gets along happily... He has only read this kind of thing in fairy tales books.

It turns out that there will be such a place in the real world! He couldn't help but think.

"If your home is really difficult," the female doctor said, hesitating for a moment, "I can help you, in your personal name."

*

Later, he met the three words on the doctor's nameplate - Bai Chongyi.

"Yi" looks too complicated, so Dr. Bai asked him to use "Yi" instead.

After a long time, he even forgot that Bai Chongyi was not her real name at all.

On that day, Dr. Bai found him alone and asked him to go to the school classroom to chat.

The "small classroom" is actually a "psychological counseling room", but the children only call it "small classroom". Everyone privately thinks that disobedient children will be called to the small classroom for conversation.

In order to prevent these children with psychological problems from thinking so, the school renovated the small classroom.

The walls were painted beige and there were various toys, dolls and story books.

Everyone's comments on it will change.

When the children saw him being taciturn and being called to the classroom by the teacher, they all gave envious eyes, including jealousy.

But he couldn't feel it.

All he knew was that many dark eyes were looking at him.

Why turn your head around?

He was not angry, he was not anxious, he just felt strange.

"Li Kuangshi," Dr. Bai's gentle voice pulled his eyes back to her, "Why dolls have to be broken? It's been many times this month, right? There are other children's dolls - why do you do this?"

He thought for a while and said, "It's not me, when I saw the dolls, they were broken."

"So, can you tell another kid not to do this again?" she said patiently, "Let him think about it, would he be happy if the building blocks were trampled by others?"

"Won't."

He likes to put together building blocks, or to be precise, he likes to push down the blocks when they are put down.

Boom - fragmented.

It seemed as if the mirror of the world was broken, everything was extremely clear. Only in that moment could he feel that the two selves had become one.

"Yes. So, I can't do this again in the future. Do you understand?"

He nodded in a vague way.

What does this kind of thing mean? Why do you say this to him? This is not what he wants to do.

This is not even a question of whether to think about it or not, it just "has happened".

*

The purple potion kept bulging out bubbles, making a bang in the air... The whole house was blown up and flew into the sky, and the roof was lifted... The picture ended with the wave of a mouse.

He watched "Cat and Mouse" playing on TV intently, and some children were making small fusses with pillows.

"Teacher, what is that purple one?" He pulled the female teacher who was reading picture books for younger children.

"What purple?" The female teacher didn't watch TV, not knowing what he was talking about.

“It was on TV just now.”

The female teacher thought for a while: "The teacher didn't watch TV just now. If something purple appears on the TV next time, I will call the teacher, okay?"

"good!"

*
Chapter completed!