When Wei Zhiyuan left Lao Xiong, the lights were already on.

He found the bus stop along the silent highway. The sparse street lights dragged his shadow long. A gust of wind blew away the thin clouds, revealing the stars in the sky. The vast universe was visible at a glance, making the world even more silent.

Since the temple is a tourist attraction, tickets will no longer be sold after 4:30 pm and the reception time is limited. Therefore, in order to save resources, after 5:30 every day, the interval between the last few trains to the city is 45 minutes.

At the lonely bus stop, Wei Zhiyuan was the only one leaning against the post of the station, lowering his first-time bus.

Perhaps some places are indeed suitable for thinking, such as prison to Wei Yi’s Riemann conjecture, and the great Bodhi tree to Shakyamuni’s Buddha. In the small Zen temple of Lao Xiong, Wei Zhiyuan’s inner pain, entanglement and occasional vicious unwillingness slowly settled down.

At the beginning, Wei Zhiyuan couldn't help but think of Wei Qian countless times. He was the one he thought about day and night. He even felt that he could describe every strand of Wei Qian's hair.

Wei Zhiyuan was not suppressed. He let himself believe in the horse and blasphemed the man's desire, because he might soon lose the power to miss him.

However, as the sun sets in the west and the heat fades away, the smell of sandalwood comes out from the gaps of the old wooden frames. His strong emotions rise and fall a few times, and finally calms down tiredly. For some reason, Wei Zhiyuan suddenly remembered the person who died in the cold storage.

For many years, Wei Zhiyuan has never repented, never thought he was a little fault, and even after the incident subsided, he rarely remembered it.

Now, it is difficult for him to recall the image of that person, but the feelings he felt at that time are still clearly imprinted in his heart. Wei Zhiyuan still remembers that after knowing that Wei Qian might never come back, he came back from Lao Xiong's pharmacy alone and lie down on it. The cold handlebar he encountered when he leaned down on it. The faint smell of rust on it.

Why kill that person?

Hatred?

No... it's not that far. After all, that person is just a coward and has not caused any substantial harm to him.

Is that for justice?

Of course it is even more impossible - Wei Zhiyuan felt that if he had that thing in his heart, the first person he wanted to kill was himself.

His spiritual world is closed, selfish, indifferent and extreme, and he may be in a good mood for a moment. It is already the limit to pick up the little boy he met in the alley into his car out of a simple effort.

If something happened to his brother at that time, would he really do that?

The meditative thoughts brought him back to the thirteen-year-old summer. The memories that were revealed were replaying, and a familiar feeling surged up. Wei Zhiyuan suddenly understood it - that was his nightmare that had been lingering for more than 20 years, the feeling of powerlessness that was deep into his bones and blood.

Everything he did was to compensate for his childhood powerlessness, which made him become concentrating on his mind, complete his system, and even to the extreme, and to the point of murder.

But those things are like a black hole with a wide mouth, which will only make people deeper and deeper. Even if he eventually becomes a serial killer, he will never be able to make up for his heart.

Fortunately, that hopeless secret love immediately became his new spiritual pillar. Looking back, Wei Zhiyuan could knock on countless doors for his elder brother countless times, but only once, when he revealed everything and was broken the last trace of fantasy, the pillar collapsed.

Since ancient times, there has been a road in Huashan Mountain, and he has been walking on this increasingly narrow road, never stopping and never looking back. Even if there is a cliff ahead, he will continue all the way until he falls to pieces.

...It seems that this way he can comfort himself and say that he is a strong man.

At this moment, a car light came, and Wei Zhiyuan thought the bus was coming, but when he looked up, he saw Wei Qian's car.

He opened his mouth, not knowing what to say, and his stiff movement like a puppet made him look a little restrained.

Wei Qian pulled down the car window and made a gesture to him to get in the car.

Wei Zhiyuan hesitated for a moment, sat in the passenger seat, turned his head to look at Wei Qian's cold side face, and asked tentatively: "Did Brother Xiong inform you?"

Wei Qian responded briefly: "Yes."

There is no more text.

He didn't want to speak, Wei Zhiyuan could see it.

He was willing to drive through most of the city in the middle of the night to pick him up, but he was unwilling to say a few more words to him.

Wei Zhiyuan leaned on the back of the seat, and the repeated sense of powerlessness spread across his body. He thought, what should I do?

The next day, Wei Qian did not go to the company and drove Wei Zhi to the airport.

Wei Qian carried a box for him, and silently sent Wei Zhiyuan to the customs gate. He put the box on the ground and placed it on the ground. He looked at Wei Zhiyuan at a rare glance and said to him: "Let's go."

After saying that, he seemed to get rid of a heavy burden and turn around and leave, as if he was too lazy to even look at it.

Wei Zhiyuan grabbed his arm.

"Brother, can you...can you let me hug you?"

Wei Qian lowered his eyes and his eyes fell on the nearly spasm-like hand pinching his arm. Then he slowly stretched out his hand, pulled Wei Zhiyuan's hand down, and turned around without saying a word.

He is so hard-hearted that as long as he refuses, he doesn't even have any room for turning around.

When Wei Zhiyuan walked through the customs alone, he seemed to feel that the whole country was closed behind him. The indescribable loneliness reflected from the floor tiles that could be seen, making his eyes hurt.

But he didn't know that Wei Qian didn't actually go far.

Wei Qian wandered alone outside the waiting hall for a while, smoked a cigarette, then walked back, found a fast food restaurant to sit in, ordered a drink, kept looking at the watch, and waited for Wei Zhiyuan's flight to take off smoothly.

When he was alone, his cold expression finally broke open.

In Wei Qian's impression, Wei Zhiyuan is always the little boy who has thin arms and legs that can rust into his arms. When he closes his eyes, he can remember the little thing's first tooth and cry and begs himself to sell him.

Wei Qian even attended Wei Zhiyuan's parent meetings several times, which was a good job, because as long as you sit upright and pretend to be deep and wait for the teacher to praise you, you will never have to be ready to be scolded at any time like when you were Xiaobao's parents.

What a good kid.

But what's going on in this situation now? Wei Qian didn't know how he should face Wei Zhiyuan, so he had to be indifferent.

He also knew that such a treatment was inappropriate. Wei Zhiyuan was such a sensitive child since he was a child. Every time he frowned slightly, the child would always be silent as soon as possible. No matter who was the reason, Wei Zhiyuan would carefully reflect on himself.

Wei Qian could imagine how heartbreaking he was like this, but what else could he do?

The airport was crowded with people, and people were hurriedly traveling around with suitcases everywhere. A foreign song accompanied by guitar was placed in the fast food restaurant, like a farewell that no one knew.

That little boy... just left.

Wei Qian sighed, pushed away the empty drink cup, stood up and left.

Xiaobao was admitted to an art school in the south and went there to live in the school. Now Xiaoyuan has left too.

Ma Zi's house next door was always empty, and he asked people to clean it regularly, as if she would come back. Sanpang and Lin Qing got married and moved out of their parents.

His home, his neighbors, seemed empty.

Many years ago, Wei Qian and Sanpang were counting their savings and compensation to buy a house, and with the excitement of being free from the shanty town forever, the scene when they moved into their new home is still vivid in my mind.

now……

Wei Qian shook his head hard, forcing himself to stop thinking. If he would be sad about spring and autumn, he would have no time to do anything else.

In a blink of an eye, Wei Zhiyuan had been away for more than half a year.

Wei Zhiyuan quickly adapted to life abroad - he could adapt to any life very quickly.

He attends classes every day, does papers, goes to the library, has wooden Buddhist beads wrapped around his wrist, and goes to church regularly.

Like the old bear, he did not believe in the gods of the East, nor did he believe in the gods of the West. He did not even want to find redemption from them. He just wanted to find a place where he could settle down and face himself quietly.

Wei Zhiyuan always remembered that when he was leaving, Lao Xiong gave him a sentence: "A mortal love, hate, greed, anger, and ignorance are just a matter of thought."

In fact, there are different ideas of different people who choose to amplify and suppress them. Let go of ridiculous self-esteem and arrogance, open up the flesh, and study the filth and dirty self thoroughly, and then you will have a sword that can penetrate the world.

Wei Zhiyuan would call home landlines regularly and regularly, wanting to hear the person's voice, but he didn't dare to call Wei Qian's cell phone for fear of disturbing Wei Qian's work.

But if Xiaobao didn't go home during holidays, no one would answer the phone calls at home. Wei Zhiyuan didn't know whether it was Wei Qian who deliberately avoided him when he heard the caller ID, or was too busy to take care of his family.

...Oh, by the way, Wei Qian answered once.

Before Wei Zhiyuan could make a sound, he heard a sound of something falling from the other side of the ocean. It was a rumbling sound, and then there seemed to be a heavy object hitting the ground. Then he "feeded" several times, and there was no movement there.

Wei Zhiyuan didn't dare to hang up. He guessed that Wei Qian probably knocked off the phone and could not call in after hang up. He quickly changed the phone and called Wei Qian's cell phone, but no one answered.

Xiaobao was too far away, as far as he could, so in the end, Wei Zhiyuan had to find Sanpang.

He hung up the headphones on the phone for more than an hour before Sanpang arrived at his house and answered the phone: "Brother, are you still here? It's okay, your brother just drank too much. When answering the phone, he tripped on the phone line and didn't get up. Just sleep, don't worry."

Is this okay?

What kind of life did he live there?

Wei Zhiyuan wanted to book a plane ticket immediately, but then he thought that he could not do anything when he returned. His brother might not even bother to pay attention to him, let alone let alone make trouble for his life.

Until the Chinese New Year - the Chinese New Year of the Lunar New Year.

Wei Zhiyuan had a thirteen-hour time difference with the country. He calculated the time and called the home half an hour before the New Year bell rang. This time, to his surprise, he only rang and answered it. A familiar voice came from the other side of the phone: "Is Xiaoyuan?"

Wei Zhiyuan thought he was mentally prepared, but he was still defeated by these simple three words and almost unable to control himself.

He didn't know how long it had been since he heard his elder brother talk to him so calmly.

That day, Wei Qian chatted with him for a long time, and like when he was a child, he patiently listened to how he lived there, what he learned in school, and whether he had made new friends, until the conversation was interrupted by the sound of firecrackers like the world war on Wei Qian.

Wei Qian looked down at the watch - his watch had been replaced with a dual-time zone model, and the time of another time zone is always displayed on it.

He said: "Let's have lunch soon? Today is the Chinese New Year, you can find a place with a lot of Chinese people and have some good food."

Wei Zhiyuan was shocked by the noisy background sound and couldn't hear it clearly: "Brother, what did you say?"

Wei Qian smiled self-deprecatingly, raised his voice and shouted to the other side: "It's nothing, you can go to school well, you can't hear it, I'm dead."

The lights were not turned on in the living room, nor the TV was turned on. Wei Qian was just sitting on the sofa, as if he was just waiting for someone's call.

The big house I bought was so empty to make my family have their own room and live a more comfortable life. Xiaobao was chosen by a movie crew because of his dancing skills and was unable to come back during the Spring Festival. Wei Qian didn't tell her that in fact, he invested in that movie himself.

Wei Qian put down the phone, pressed his uncomfortable stomach, and planned to cook a bowl of millet porridge for himself on Dada.

After Lao Xiong left, Wei Qian became the legitimate core of the company. In just one or two years, the company expanded several times in his hands. It was difficult for private enterprises to survive. Hundreds of employees followed him. Every time he expanded his territory, he would come forward in person and rack his brains to clear up various relationships. He was always on the road, always having endless social engagements, and he would pour more than a pound of white wine into it.

Wei Qian didn't know how many years he could play with this life, but the years were unforgiving. As he grew older, he was no longer the boy who was hit by a heavy punch and could still be full of energy after two days of rest. Tobacco, alcohol and hard work were hollowing out his body bit by bit, and Wei Qian could feel the process.
To be continued...