At that time, Xia Chen racked his brains and couldn't come up with an answer. If loneliness was due to separation, then when he was in China, he and Lin Guhuo were like conjoined twins, never separated for a moment. Why did the deep-rooted feeling of loneliness still persist?

We follow each other like a shadow. In the second year of his Ph.D., Xia Chen shaved his head. He wore a woolen hat he knitted in winter and a fisherman hat in summer. "After the breakup, I thought about quickly getting into the next relationship. Maybe this can relieve my stress."

I felt sad in my heart. But then I thought about it, I did this just to relieve my pain, and it is not a true lover. So I don't want it anymore." Xia Chen swallowed the noodles while snoring, while talking to Yin Feng.

Xia Chen: "I haven't read "Hamlet", but I have a favorite painting called "Ophelia in the Water." When I first saw it, I didn't know it was a drowning girl. I just felt very sad.

Calm. There seems to be the sound of gurgling water rushing through my ears, and the cool stream naturally flows through my eyes. I am so yearning for it. The plants and river water are all solidified at the moment when the painting is completed. The girl and nature harmoniously interpret tranquility.

'Eternity' was my only thought at the time."

Yin Feng: "Is this the reason why you shaved your head?"

Xia Chen: "Ah? Bald head? Reason? What does this have to do with bald head? Shaving your head is a spur of the moment. In my life, all the reasons you want are just a spur of the moment. What you do when you get up, you stop when you are done."

Yin Feng: "You've been using your English name for nine years, and it hasn't stopped yet?"

Xia Chen: "That's different, names can't be changed casually. Especially Diana is a very good name." Diana means the moon and the goddess of hunting. At the same time, it is also the name of Xia Chen's favorite woman, Princess Diana.

Yin Feng: "Is it because of the famous saying, to be a Diana? (Never marry for the rest of your life)"

Xia Chen: "That's right."

As usual, she unfolded the pen and paper. "It's the fourth birthday letter. I have something to say first. I want to write a 10,000-word love letter. But the correspondence and exchanges between you and me have actually already exceeded

This limit, this birthday, cannot be spent with you. Normally speaking, I should feel guilty and reluctant. But I don't. I once said, 'Труднопредставить моюжизньбезтебя.' (I can't imagine), but now I'm completely used to it.

The warmth, love, pity, exploration and surprise that I had in the past three and a half years have been reduced to mere scraps of ancient money. I never believed that the feelings between people can change, wear out, diminish to nothing. But I

I am also a materialist, and I cannot help but believe it after personal experience. Many problems sprouted very early, and I didn’t discover them until the situation became irreversible.

When my needs and your giving were completely incompatible, I secretly gave up, bit by bit, and it is inevitable to develop like this till today. The enthusiasm that burned all my efforts before made me confused when I look back.

The only thing I can be sure of is that after leaving you, I can no longer write such light things in my writing. They lie heavily on the ground. No matter how hard I try, they refuse to return to the sky. It's not that you have changed, it's just me.

I want more and more. What I want is all of you, but I forget that no one can hand over all of myself. Even I can't do it. I say, "Don't do anything to me if you don't have money anymore."

But I like to let others listen to my ideas and obey my will. It is really authoritarian and tyrannical. As mentioned before, the only thing that maintains my feelings is the old money hope. A person usually has a gentle and kind image.

, does not mean that there is no side close to animal nature in the heart. The reason why it can be limited to the usual image is because of concerns about moral norms and compliance with laws and regulations. If there is a relatively tolerant environment and those restrictions are removed, the animal nature can only be exposed.

.Unfortunately, I found that whenever I think of you, I completely lose my mind. My whole person is controlled and controlled by animal nature, so I can no longer think of you. It is spring now, and your birthday is still far away. Winter you are gone

After that, I signed up for six online courses at first, but because the course requirements were difficult, I dropped out of all of them. I opened three accounts to write about different topics, and I wrote and thought hard. I felt exhausted and desperate every day. It seemed that as long as I could

When I get busy, I forget. The result is that the busier I am, the clearer my memory is. I can’t say that I still love you, nor can I say that I don’t love you. Both of these statements are not accurate enough. I am in these two states.

I kept repeating it until one day I watched a movie. You know, I always want to find the true meaning of life from movies. The heroine resists the male protagonist's intimate behavior, although they are in love. At that moment, I suddenly understood what you want.

Respect. My self-boundaries are very vague, which leads to my concept of respect being very vague. I have never respected the boundaries you set, whether it is mental or physical. All kinds of behaviors are more like a strong and arrogant person than a lover.

The invader. How can you enjoy the closeness that goes against the original intention? Then I confirmed that I still love you, maybe it is a plain love. Because I will still stop my behavior because of the harm you may get. They

It is said that as long as you can remember, you are still alive. In fact, this is not the case. In my mind, if a person can only live in my memory, he has completely disappeared from my life.

You will be twenty-five years old this year. You are far away from being a weakling, but you are very close to being established. You will graduate from graduate school next year. Your major is not suitable for further education, but as it is now, it is just suitable for employment. I shouldn’t let you go.

The only reason is that you still owe me a complete manuscript. Thinking about how they will live every day is more torture than thinking about you. I care about you, your manuscript, and your life, but I no longer care about you and me.

Is there any emotion between you? Best wishes." After writing, she locked the letter in the cabinet.

At first, Lin Gu felt that he had met the person he had been waiting for. As time passed, his disappointment in Xia Chen continued to accumulate. The Xia Chen in front of him almost did not match the image he wanted in his heart. But he was still there.

Waiting for a turn of events. Later, Xia Chen told him with all his actions that what he did was completely in vain. He couldn't stand her worthless nagging, he couldn't stand her hypocrisy, and he couldn't stand her delusions. It turned out to be consensual.

, they were happy at first sight, but in the end they were just in embarrassment and tormenting each other. Maybe it was a coincidence in the beginning, whether it was due to chance or fate, they were entangled until now, but they still couldn't make a move. Xia Chen had countless letters, and he

Each letter was rejected. "You always say that you can't figure out the relationship between you and me. I've answered it for you. It's never been your problem. It's just that I have been cold-blooded since I was a child and like to torture people's hearts." In the end.
Chapter completed!